Chris

Adrift the seas of madness, on a broken raft made out of dreams. Awaiting the winds of hope , looking forward to what tomorrow brings.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

Another trip through Cyberpunk, and I still want to punch this lady in the face as soon as I see her.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@ittyi_ The loneliness will fade in time. It may not fully go away, but in time, as you learn to find yourself again, it wont feel so heavy. As one stranger to another, keep going. One step in front of another. One moment at a time.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@jessicasimpclar Too much hurt. Either get labeled as a creep, a monster, laughed at, or lead on. Loneliness isn't fun, but knowing I dont have to worry about mental games being played or worrying if I am enough? The silence is less stress and heartache.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@MarcusHuang1124 @ironmouse Brother, please go deep throat a cactus.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

The desire to reach out and try to find someone. The overwhelming fear of being hurt again. The ache of being lonely. A vicious circle indeed.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@Lyracutevibes They can be the best. Its a extra foundation to make everything solid. being friends with your significant other is oddly not a lot of people think about. But...it can cause the worst heart ache if things go south.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@halegarrison_ Sure. So long as there is a talk of mutual respect, boundaries, what they want out of it, and what to expect. I would support my partner in all they do, but not blindly. a healthy relationship is communication. So long as there is that and trust.. go for it!

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@Airavibes_ Because Maybe. Maybe it might get better. maybe i wont be so lonely. maybe i will get it together. Maybe i might become happy. Maybe life will improve for everyone. Maybe tomorrow wont be so bad. I wont know if im not there to see it. So I will stay. Because Maybe.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@rovabtw I work Retail. Offer me a dollar more than i make now and a hot pocket and i will sell you my soul.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@_Olivia_Vtuber we do not. Not always because we are clueless. but because getting our hopes up has burned us so many times. so many times of ridicule. of mind games. of humiliation. of shame. So we become numb. Be blunt. tell us.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

..there with them at the end, even if they were scared and did what they did. I saw the other person showing up... the confrontation...the acceptance. both being there... and then the end.... I just cried silently for 2 hours and havnt written a single line. ... help.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

Reading through a writing prompt to help with learning how to write and express emotions easier. The prompt was your wife is dying in a hospital. She tells you she called her ex to spend her last days with and wants you to leave. ..... Bro wtf. I have too vivid a imagination for

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

...that. I went through the moment, the heartbreak, the acceptance. the loss. the grief. the anger. the rage. the fucking cold nothingness that follows. sitting in the parking lot of the hospital with nothing at all... and then going back inside anyway.. of just wanting to be ..

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

I think i might post more here now. I usually don't like sharing anything about myself. But... I need a place to share my ramblings.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

Since my work place tried to fuck me over by not scheduling me for a entire week, ( I am FULL time...) I turned the tables on them and put in vacation time for all of it. Im sitting on a crap ton. PAY ME TO NOT DEAL WITH YOU PEOPLE. Haha.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@Starlight_Syd Cake.....and i could not explain why.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@KimariRoseVA I... thank you. This message hits everything right now for me. A concept ive been struggling with for some time. Having someone else say it helps reaffirm my determination to be a better me.
Thank you.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@Starlight_Syd sorry syd. Currently in Quarantine right now. Cant make physical contact with anything for a ....while.
Lots of head pats to make up for it.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

@KimariRoseVA May the same wish make it back to you as well.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

To be clear, I am, and will be fine. I am not contemplating anything dangerous or worrisome. I simply needed a place to vent a odd realization that in these depression states, I stop lying to myself and accept what is.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

Didn't make this profile to post things, but i feel like if i don't express myself in some meaningful way, my thoughts wont stop tonight. Depression likes to creep up on me out of no where now and then. Takes me a few days to realize my thoughts are not flowing normal.

[Chris @TopherOneEye]

..those individuals walking away and treating me as if my existence is a bother to deal with. The fake smiles. The
"Hey, we should meet up sometime/ hang out/ play games/ go for a drink" are empty promises to mask the dead connection that was there once.