Toaster🎃

26 // inventor of the slam dunk, arcade carpet enthusiast, and unanimously elected town fool

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

You’re too late Spider-Man! I’ve already cyber bullied every teen in New York City!

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

When I was a kid I thought it was called a Nintendo 64 because it came out in 1964

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

I think throughout my life I’ve innately unknowingly expertly crafted a vibe that makes people surprised when I succeed

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

If I was on Survivor with Cirie I would simply organize a mass suicide amongst the rest of the cast to guarantee her victory

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

The Chicago Bulls theme song just started playing loud as fuck over the intercom at the L train stop and I genuinely thought Michael Jordan was about to make an entrance to kick my ass

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

I’m getting YouTube ads for the San Pellegrino podcast which is now the most baffling thing I’m aware of

[irrational_potato @sillyoumaximus]

I'm doing research right now
#intelectual

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

If I see another clip from a movie where a text to speech voice describes what’s happening in the clip of the movie I’m gonna lose it

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

@Mothramm Something terrible is going to happen to me

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

In the transfer tunnel between my two L train stops I was just followed at a distance by a chorus of 25+ old people singing carol of the bells in perfect harmony. I’ve never been more scared in my life.

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

Gonna start sewing fear into my most paranoid friends by saying nothing makes me secretly dislike someone more than when they say they’re worried their friends secretly dislike them

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

Elevators at the dentist office always have the best buttons

[Mr. The Hog🖼️ @RepugnantBeasts]

What emotion dose this comic bring?

[gaz @Nyazsche]

I used to have a neighbor who was obsessed with Bigfoot so I’d poorly edit pictures of him in her yard, and she would fall for it every time.

[meg @BETTYDR4PER]

happy halloween

[james moss @ratboyjames]

one of my airpods died now im listening to straight garfunkel

[Terry Rozier @T_Rozzay3]

Osama shouldve hooped instead of tryna kill ppl cause he tall as hell!

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

Baseball….

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

“Trying to land a haymaker...”

The broadcast booth was fired up for Geno’s ground shaking grand slam 🔥 #SeizeTheMoment

[Toaster🎃 @topsickles]

In 2017 I saw a guy riding a hoverboard on the sidewalk with his hood up and hands in his pockets sobbing and the visual has never left my mind since