Aaron Torchio

IU and UCLA alum, lover of wiffle ball, good food and marketing.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

You know that scene in angels in the outfield where the guy is massaging the batter before he goes out and hits a tank? That must have been happening to the deli master at the Publix Holmes beach today when he was making my sub. It was magical. #pubsub

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

I guess everyone hits the age where they can’t name a single song by the Super Bowl half time performer. My time has come #loadinghimuponmyspotifytofeelyoungnow

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

Turns out if you eat 57 mini candy bars it’s like eating at least one full size candy bar.
#conversionrates

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

Maybe if all-state didn’t run commercials every freaking second on my TV, they could afford to actually offer me insurance in California.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

My family is the trunk-or-treat version of wedding crashers.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

@littlecaesars while I appreciate fast and cheap pizza, I feel like cooked should also be a requirement. Yikes.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

Still drives me insane that @ABC will air graphic horror movie commercials during @NBA playoffs and before 8pm. I’d like to enjoy the game with my young kids without them being scared so bad they don’t want to go to sleep.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

Feel like ChatGPT could have written the Top Gun sequel…

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

Is there another city besides Philly who has a statue to a movie character?

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

I’d buy a Mercedes if it talked to me in the voice of Don Draper.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

The family man is the best don Cheadle + nick cage movie available on December 22nd.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

This is a very interesting situation! Man doesn’t find himself in a situation like this every day….

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

Is TNF a thing? That logo is baaaaaad. #tnf

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

If I was a drug smuggler I would use an elf on the shelf as my mule cause everyone knows you can’t touch them or they lose their magic. #unsearchable #elfontheshelf #elfontheshelf2022

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

My favorite rational for why Deion chose Colorado over Cincy. #goldstarisevenworse

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

@iamjoesargent It would probably ruin the tension if they just told them “ yo, go out on this field and throw some balls at that hole. If you make it, you get free tuition. If you don’t, you still get free tuition”

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

@iamjoesargent It’s not working!!!

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

Why does PG&E pay for advertising as a utility? Is there another option I’m not aware of that I can choose?

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

@MichaelHarvey Preach. Cleaner rear and drinking fountain in every stall.

[Aaron Torchio @torchio]

My 7 year old can’t stop rewinding and watching the wiggling @OceanSprayInc holiday commercial. Is the baseball game back on?! Also, Are those #canlines on those blobs?!?