standard def pissboi

[Donald Trump Portfolio Tracker @TrumpsPortfolio]

February: Trump buys $1–5 million in Dell stock.

May: “Go out and buy a Dell!”

Then: Pentagon signs a $9.7 BILLION deal with Dell.

July: “Go out and buy a Dell!” (again)

The President bought millions in Dell stock, then stood at a White House podium, twice, telling Americans to go buy Dell computers.

Dell stock is up 235% this year.

In a functioning democracy that’s called securities fraud. Here it’s called Monday.

[Aaron Ehasz @aaronehasz]

Shame on @citibank for allowing a loophole to auto-approve charges under $15 -- allowing a thief to rapidly fraudulently charge $14 to my wife TWO THOUSAND TIMES. Really, your system can't detect that a thousand repeated charges might be fraud?

[Furkan Gözükara @FurkanGozukara]

Massive corruption exposed on ABC News. A UAE official bought a 500 million dollar secret stake in a Trump company right before getting access to guarded US AI chips. Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche desperately tries to deflect. The White House is for sale.

[JerryRigEverything @ZacksJerryRig]

When Trumps dad got Alzheimer's (which is hereditary) they put him in a pretend office and let him sign pretend papers and make pretend decisions for his companies.

I feel like that information is relevant right now.

[Anonymous @YourAnonCentral]

Bro reenacting the Kirk incident during a meeting was highly unprofessional. Do better. 🫵

[Justin🦩Boldaji @justinboldaji]

Can’t wait until someone tweets “Elon is a pedophile with no friends” and it becomes a Certified Banger and they have to delete the whole thing

[Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) @AwesomeNewsom]

AWW, DONNY IS DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOU. HE MADE $5 BILLION IN CRYPTO. FOR YOU! GOT A NEW JET FROM QATAR. FOR YOU! GREW HIS CANKLES. FOR YOU! YOU WANT FREE TIME? HE'S CUTTING JOBS. YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT? HE MADE FOOD TOO EXPENSIVE. WANT TO NEVER MEET WOMEN? HE'S GOT HATS!

[Riot Fest @RiotFest]

Like I know this is a rage bait engagement farming twitter account, but “GWAR crossed a major line” is one of the funniest fucking things I’ve ever heard.

[Sulaiman Ahmed @ShaykhSulaiman]

FBI RELEASE MORE LEAKED MESSAGES FROM TYLER ROBINSON

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

Like clockwork

[Sen. Analise Ortiz (@senanaliseortiz.bsky.social) @SenAnaliseOrtiz]

Yep. When ICE is around, I will alert my community to stay out of the area, and I’m not fucking scared of you nor Trump’s masked goons.

[Mr. Spock 🖖 (Commentary) @SpockResists]

George Nader is a man that has child abuse, child pornography charges dating back to 1985. He was convicted in the 1990’s for transporting child pornography. He was sentenced in 2003 for sexually abusing 10 boys. He pleaded guilty in early 2020 to flying a 14-year-old boy from

[Boston Smalls @smalls2672]

Bro ain't wrong.

[Not Your Average Liberal @NotAvgLiberal]

Hitler had the Gestapo.
Germany had the Nazi Party.

Trump has ICE.
America has MAGA.

Same shit.
Different timelines.

[Republicans against Trump @RpsAgainstTrump]

This was no crossfire. The cop aimed and fired deliberately. A journalist, live on air, was shot at. Outrageous.

[TakedownMRAs @TakedownMRAs]

The skateboarder who lost to a 7 year old cis girl, repeatedly, then blamed her failures on trans women has thoughts on Simone Biles

[Spencer Hakimian @SpencerHakimian]

Regardless of the politics of it.

I find it objectively hilarious that the United States has a $10,000,000 bounty on this guy’s head for being a member of Al Qaeda.

And the President of the United States is doing photo ops with the same exact dude.

🤣🤣🤣

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

EXCLUSIVE: We dug up a video of Donald Trump trashing Qatar in 2017 calling them “funders of terrorism.” I’m sure he would hate if this clip changed their mind to give him a $400 million plane - so definitely don’t repost it.

[Jack Cocchiarella 🌹 @JDCocchiarella]

I’ve always wanted to ratio the White House

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

Oh my god. SNL just completely DESTROYED Pete Hegseth. This was brilliant.