tori

human hyperbole

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

lol CEOs really think employees would rather spend an hour of unpaid time commuting each day just to look a race car in the office
https://t.co/c3crfg0tcf

[tori @torinottori]

@kellermeekin @thekaljazeera it’s a lifestyle

[tori @torinottori]

@michaelcadoch yes that’s ridiculous, give me his address i just wanna talk 🤛🏼

[tori @torinottori]

@michaelcadoch lolololol thinking about all the times you told me you cancelled on a date

[tori @torinottori]

me, putting highlighter on my nose and lipstick on my lips to work a 8hr shift with a mask on:

[tori @torinottori]

every canada day i deal with the dilemma of knowing nationalism and patriotism are used to silence the very real and ongoing issues in our country, but also knowing that i looking real good in red lipstick

[tori @torinottori]

all hands are girls, all feet are boys

[grace @idesheaven]

men will tweet “women aren’t funny” and then go watch an episode of the office written by mindy kailing and be like “this is real comedy”

[tori @torinottori]

what guys in their 20s think they are, vs what they really are

[tori @torinottori]

@blakeulrich not yet, but there was an attempt of Behtoveen’s “Fur Elise “

[tori @torinottori]

i kid you fucking not, one of the people who lives above me is playing the recorder right now

[tori @torinottori]

@kellermeekin @blxckswns i love my brand :)

[tori @torinottori]

every person in Tiger King was created by clicking randomize Sim

[liva @realchoppedliva]

every zoom discussion during online school

[tori @torinottori]

ugh i love sports

[Samantha Bee @realsambee]

March Madness may be canceled, but you can still enjoy this video of women dunking on the GOP.

[tori @torinottori]

the people who live above me are having a sizeable dinner party, but also listening to the new Tame Impala album.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

My Quarantine Routine

I just wanted to share what works for me. This is just to give me structure and a sense of stability

9 am - 2 am: wake up & stare at my phone

[tori @torinottori]

day 5 of quarantine:

feeling like akon’s little mouse friend

(this is a reference to the intro of the hit 2004 song “lonely” by the r&b rapper known as akon)