Tori Harris

“Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?”

[Alabama6AFootball @AL6AFootball]

Hoover 33, Thompson 30 | :00 4Q | James Bryant with the 55-yard field as time expires. Bucs win!!

[Griffin Gulledge @griffingulledge]

I am ready to make some unjustifiably confident predictions about Auburn football at this point. I am fully bought into prediction of playoff contention. The delusion has taken over. The air is growing cooler.

Football season has arrived.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

A toddler injury I was not prepared for: falling on the concrete whilst clutching a water gun and scraping all the skin off cuticles and knuckles 🥴 oof, kid.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

The husband and I watching these contestants sing “Disney” songs on tonight’s #AmericanIdol

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

“I need one of these guys to sing “Love is an Open Door”, then we will see how good they actually are.”
-husband re: tonight’s #AmericanIdol

[Joshin and Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

INTERVIEWER: can you explain this gap in your resume?

GANDALF THE WHITE: darkness took me. and I strayed out of thought and time. stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as the life age of the earth.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

If you are interested in having every virus known to man brought into your home, being regularly woken up at 2 and 3am for no apparent reason, and/or everything always smelling like poop, then having kids is for you, my friend.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

The 2005 Pride & Prejudice is just so visually beautiful with the exception of Keira's bangs. They nearly ruin the whole movie. I just can't.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

Whoever suggested and then whoever gave final approval to the @Nickelodeon super bowl situation both deserve a raise.

[Elmo @elmo]

When both teams are red, it's hard for Elmo to pick which team to root for. Elmo will cheer for both! ❤️

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

The part of a family trip where a baby or kid decides to scream/wail/sob for the last 45 minutes before you get home is the part where I remember why we don’t roadtrip more with the kids.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

Started a rewatch of Once and silly special effects aside, this show is just so good.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

Second-born is 6 weeks and tonight’s (today’s?) 3am thought is that I am not worried in the least about him being a pushover or people pleaser. Team no sleep can confirm he will do as he pleases.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

Isn’t it the very best when you (finally) get a baby to sleep and they wake themselves up by burping (sometimes in your face) and spitting milk all over themselves and you? Truly a delightful time.

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

if I was staying in the home of a man named Edward Rochester and I kept hearing odd laughter coming from the attic and then he dressed up as a lady fortune-teller to coax a confession of love out of me, I would do some investigating before I married him.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

When I’m up in the nights caring for a sick kid or a newborn, I read historical fiction to keep things in perspective. Does wiping poop butt at 2am suck? Yes. But I’m not trying to escape Nazi occupied Paris or being forced into an arranged marriage. So things are ok.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

Is it possible to be getting negative hours of sleep? Bc I am thinking yes.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

Middle of winter hits different with a newborn. Why is it dark so long?
I’m basically nocturnal now.

[Christine Caine @ChristineCaine]

Don’t give up.

He who promised is faithful.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

@anbrowning This is even sadder.

[Tori Harris @torittharris]

Some of y’all are sad all of January because you take your Christmas decor down today. It is is the second day of Christmas, my friends. Three French hens tomorrow.