Ashley

Thespian always. Dreamer. Sleeper. Napper...I..I like sleep a lot. Also wine. That is all.

[John Legend @johnlegend]

No but I did invest in the Michael Scott Paper Co https://t.co/jDyQpaDy7f

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@sappyvegan The only people against what this tweet said are just butthurt their girlfriends found someone better

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

It would be dope if I had a will to live and not the strong urge to fucking die 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

Drop the attitude before I drop your ego 😊

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@Brycedahomie You do you boo boo

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@Brycedahomie Yas Queen, show up for that glow up

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@ihatebanananubs If I can find someone to go with me lol I don’t wanna go alone 😂

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@ihatebanananubs brb on my way https://t.co/OnGZo4adUR

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

Or knowing you are and not knowing how to fix yourself https://t.co/2ipavzM063

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

More like fuck me @train https://t.co/CEvcKT4cop

[train @train]

I beg your pardon https://t.co/AjTaA2C8Vw

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@Brycedahomie let’s unlock the secrets Shrek is hiding https://t.co/qVhAflLecu

[Skoog @Skoog]

In Shrek, Shrek grabs a frog, blows it up like a balloon and IT FLOATS.

Does this mean Shrek has the ability to exhale pure helium? What other secrets lie within his fascinating anatomy?

Hi, I'm Neil DeGrasse Tyson and I am fucking baaaaaked.

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

M O O D https://t.co/xEFxDhBCV6

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

My first tat was indeed not a pun and now I’m mad https://t.co/u5fTRH7Y4k

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

If the first ink drawn into my body isn't a pun, I'll be disappointment in myself and my tat too
#seewhatIdidthere #getit #killme

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

Omg That moment when you share the same birthday as @tallykat3 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

My twitter account is a direct reflection of me, really fucking funny but also pretty over looked 👏🏻👌🏻💁🏼

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

Petition for a new slang term: Plucking (verb): Platonic Fucking
Ex. I would so Pluck him. He seems Pluckable

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@train

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

@nap_time_gaming @lemonofficiaI @Pandacakes9 @LoganPaul Here’s how it’s not just a simple “mistake”. No one accidentally films a dead body, laughs, takes the time to edit the video and upload it onto YouTube and wait till it hits trending before deleting it. You defending him makes you just as bad as him

[Thomas Sanders @ThomasSanders]

The Dreaded One-Sided Exchange of Friends 😫 (W/ @dahlianicole_)

[Ashley @TotalCalypsis]

Idk what’s worse, wine at 8am or frosting at 8pm
No aunt Kathy I am not doing fine #technicallyimanadult #ineedhelp