Allen Williams

Curmudgeon and cynic with a soft centre. A bit like a Smartie, hard, brittle and glossy on the outside, soft smooth and sweet on the inside

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@Miss_AGW will try to send one, having some technical problems, basically spastic technology operator, thick as pig shit, half as useful

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

House building at Tagaytay going well. It'll be fabulous, made from antique hardwood rescued from old houses being demolished.

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

It's been a while, just been too busy. Very hot in Philippines today. Temperature wise that is. It's always pretty hot otherwise.

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

Just seen Hune on the telly, talk about a laugh, thought I'd never start

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

it's quite late here in Manila, I think I'll go to bed. What are you lot doing there in England?

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink I liked the one that had you looking like a boiled egg though. That's a lovely snap, who took it?

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink Cool photo of you Piggy. Is that like a hamster wot goes in a ham sandwich?

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink Piggy Darling, I'm mortified, some twat's dumped me, i'm down to seven. Anyway it's their loss

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink Piggy Dearest, it's the quality of the followers that counts, not the number. Anyway my 8 beats your, what is it? 2? ho! ho!

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink Piggy, if you're a pig why is your avatar a boiled egg? just wondering.

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink Thank you for your concern. Your advice will be studiously ignored.My followers love me

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink Oh really? Seems like you're very interested if you're answering me at this time on a sunday morning.

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink When you finally "catch up" with total carp you'll know that my highest qualification is Anagrams 101 from Dunstable Tech

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

latest follower is Piggy-Pie Oink, she's from Melton Mobray, sad really, all that talent in a pork pie

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink As a "come lately" to total carp's world you don't realise I have many followers from the piscatorial community-silly buggers

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@piggypie_oink Hello Piggypie_oink,are you gonna follow me around all day? It makes it really hard when i'm trying to follow you. totalcarp

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

Just got back to Manila from NewYear break in Guimaras. had a really great time

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

Hello everybody, seems like I embarassed Shoe_Pig with all the carp I sent out yesterday. Sorry about that. I think she's thin skinned

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@Shoe_Pig Did I embarass you in front of your twitter friends with all the dribble I sent out?

[Allen Williams @totalcarp]

@Sharrij658 Hello Sharri Petitti, nice to know you're following me, I'm not sure I know where I'm going.