Total Jackassery

Be a jackass, not an asshole

[Jeff Rueter @jeffrueter]

RT if you like soccer

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

Yeah....I’m gonna need everyone to shift their irrational anger about this not being streamed from the team, and instead put it on Caleb Porter.

[Minnesota United FC @MNUFC]

some info on today’s scrimmage vs. @ColumbusCrewSC

we’ll have some updates like lineups and goals.

we’ll also have some pics and vids and maybe some gifs.

but no stream.

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

I know, I know, different leagues and paths (RIP Blackbaud Stadium), but historically, the Minnesota Thunder used to lose to the Battery a lot, so this was nice in a way.

[Minnesota United FC @MNUFC]

FT

Loons: 9
Battery: 0

Goals:
• Niko (2)
• Ethan (2)
• Juan
• Weah
• McMaster
• Ozzie (PK)
• Foster

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

Phil Neville and Ryan Shawcross to Inter Miami https://t.co/0S1E9yQ1CK

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

Please god gift us an Inter Miami home game with 5,000 people in the stand, it’ll be a hecklers paradise.

[Charles Boehm @cboehm]

"Shawcross has signed a two-year deal and his capture is seen as a huge coup for Inter Miami"

😬😬😬😬😬

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@DarkCloudsMerch @MNDarkClouds We should make a song.

🎶 we support the people with pitchforks!

🎶 proud of the people blow the lines!

🎶 those ball disinfectors? salute them!

🎶 they provide us with excellent times!

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

MLS giving us Seattle as our season opener is some serious ‘salt in your fresh, festering wound’ type scheduling. The NASL would have never done that to us.

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@alexschief @MnNiceFC @texaszeller I’d wager that it’d be at 150% capacity by then, tbh.

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

How many goals and assists did Alexi Gomez and Ibson combine for while I was gone?

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

Holy shit, why didn’t any of you tell me we have our own stadium now

[Allianz Field @allianzfield]

Fun 🎉 Fact 🎉 Friday

Did you know that our Supporter Section has the steepest incline of any stadium in Major League Soccer at 34.8°?

A Wonderwall, if you will.

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@offensiveloons We were worried about that over here

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

Haven’t logged on to the Twitter machine in 3 years, what did I miss?

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@SKCIrons @MNDarkClouds Our plan worked!!!!

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@MNDarkClouds Okay

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@collinsolberg @C38sg Step 1) have a stadium in the middle of nowhere

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@BarkClouds That sounds like something a cop would say.

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@HighOnCaps Nothing but time for a friendly neighbor to the north. Lay it on me

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@HighOnCaps Oh yeah? Please tell me more about our history.

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

Of course https://t.co/deupDIUtvl

[Total Jackassery @totaljackassery]

@surlybrewing