meg

my mom thinks I’m funny and my exes like to block me

[meg @totalmegmove]

so I hate birds

[meg @totalmegmove]

can someone explain how a recruiter can reach out to YOU, try to set up a time to TALK and then when you confirm the time they just GHOST YOU?

[meg @totalmegmove]

the only good thing to come out of having the stomach flu is that I’ve lose 8 lbs in two days

[meg @totalmegmove]

I got a fist bump at work today.

Not because I’m doing a good job, but because people appreciate my sarcasm.

[meg @totalmegmove]

the amount of serotonin I get when paragraphs break PERFECTLY in a proposal is unnatural

[meg @totalmegmove]

3 inches is never a lot until it comes time to cut my hair

[meg @totalmegmove]

I don’t care what anyone says I will be self tanning until further notice because it is one of the only things giving me serotonin these days

[meg @totalmegmove]

that awkward time between when you set the date and then have the date. like do I still text you? do I assume you’ll cancel at the last minute? I. Hate. Dating.

[meg @totalmegmove]

@blawrencedub Men are useless do you want to be next on the chopping block

[meg @totalmegmove]

Call me dramatic but the second you’ve inconvenienced me you’re blocked. Goodbye. No time for this shit.

[meg @totalmegmove]

Honestly considering buying a “fall risk” bracelet to wear whenever I go out because lord knows I need it

[meg @totalmegmove]

@blawrencedub might not make it home alive from work today, pray for me and my little camry

[meg @totalmegmove]

I finally scheduled an appointment for new tires and Nebraska has a god damn snow storm the day before.

[meg @totalmegmove]

I literally can’t stand when someone says they don’t know how to do something that can literally be solved with a simple google search

[˗ˏˋ ryn ˎˊ˗ @onlineryn]

2022 is the year of tomfoolery. the year of jest. the year of being a “silly little guy” at all times. the year of shenanigans. this year is for scallywags. for rapscallions. ne’er-do-wells. little rascals.

[meg @totalmegmove]

Every time I go out with my sisters everyone wants to be a Day sister like for what

[meg @totalmegmove]

When he can’t “Merry Christmas” his way back into your life because you got a new number and never told him :/

[meg @totalmegmove]

I thought these next two weeks weren’t supposed to be busy for corporate hoe’s??? Who missed the memo this year???

[meg @totalmegmove]

it’s gonna be a bad day to have floor to ceiling windows

[meg @totalmegmove]

I do find it hilarious that my type is men who are already in relationships.

Not because I’m a home wrecker, but because these single guys SUCK

[meg @totalmegmove]

I am having a main character moment with the snow falling and watching from my wall of floor to ceiling windows