Quotes you'll love

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[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Other nations call America fat and stupid. Then we kick their asses in the Olympics and landed on Mars. Yea bitch!

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Old people at weddings poke me during the ceremony and say "You're next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

When you finish arguing with someone and they mutter some shit under their breath, after. SAY IT AGAIN BITCH!

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Why we fail final exams --

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Me: You know your teeth remind me of a very popular song. Friend: which one? Me: black and yellow

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Girl: I'm ugly! Everyone: shut up you attention seeking whore. Girl: I'm pretty! Everyone: shut up you conceited bitch!

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Boy: bitch! Girl: I've been called worse. Boy: like what? Girl: your girlfriend

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

When I think I'm gonna get in trouble, I keep my phone out of sight

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Dora, you call yourself an explorer but you can't see shit that's next to you.

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

If you don't mean what you say, then shut the fuck up.

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Writing the wrong date on your homework to make it look like you did it on time

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Seeing a spider isn't a problem, the problem is when it disappears

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Dear "bop it" commercials, teenagers don't go to parties and play w your toy.

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Girls say "I'll always be yours even when you don't want me" and then wonder why he cheats and lies to them.

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

A ride or die chick means you're there when he has nothing, not when he cheats multiple times and you're still there.

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

One thing that will never break my heart -- food!

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Cheating isn't an accident. Falling off a bike is an accident

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of .....

[Quotes you'll love @totesquoted]

Hey I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys and chase douchebags, then complain about it.