Tweets from a toddler

Parody. OBVIOUSLY. Everyone knows babies lack the dexterity to type accurately but I got tired of Daddy constantly monologuing my every moment!

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

After far too long away, and with everything going on in the world, I’ve come back better than ever, and I’m taking over the world. If you want a despotic, autocratic leader, get someone who knows how to do it properly! #tottweets #toddler

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

I’m taking over as world leader: President, Prime Minster, all of it! I’m gathering a crack team to support me in this endeavour, starting with my Chief of Staff. Meet Sparky!

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Guess who dressed me today? #Daddy #baby

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Just chilling in the pool…#babytweetsthis #baby #pool

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

I don’t want dad to know I find what he’s doing with my bunny hilarious, so I’ll put my dummy in to hide my giggling #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Not impressed that dad got this shot of me sleeping #nap #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

No dad, 9 and a half months is not too young for a phone! #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

I have a new best friend. His name is Julian, apparently he’s a #king…#baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Went on a slide. It was fine, dad enjoyed it more I think. #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Enjoyed reading #Elmer on #ElmerDay with Mummy yesterday #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

I’ve started throwing my food on floor. Mum and Dad don’t realise I’m saving it for later. It’s my emergency floor food #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

If you don’t want me nibbling on your toes, don’t leave them out near me when I’m teething! #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

#Coronation

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

I don’t really understand what’s happening in London today but I do appreciate the themed messy play mums arranged for me this morning #Coronation #Coronation2023 #baby #babytweetsthis #KingCharles

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

#Coronation #Coronation2023 #KingCharles

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Practicing my push-ups! #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Andy Dufresne - who crawled through a river of 💩and came out clean on the other side. #babytweetsthis #shawshankRedemption

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

Locked up, they won’t let me out #baby #babytweetsthis

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

@ChaoticMarky Hi

[Tweets from a toddler @tottweetsthis]

@BlueyCommunity