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Bought $NVDA calls around 10.10 . Thesis was clean and they started paying almost right away.
Up 30% and I got nervous. "To be safe."
Took half off. "To lock it in."
Then one red candle spooked me and I dumped the rest. For a fraction of what the trade actually gave.
The stock kept running. Those same calls doubled by lunch.
I did everything right except the one thing that mattered: I couldn't sit still and let a good trade be a good trade. Managed a winner like it was a problem I needed to solve.
The setup was never the issue. I was.
$MSFT calls. My stop was -35%.
I didn't take it.
"Just give it a little room, it'll bounce." So I slid the stop down. Then again. Every time it got close I found a reason the level was fine and moved my line instead.
The -35% I planned for turned into -75% I just sat and watched.
The stop was never the problem. I had one. I just couldn't stand to be the guy who actually clicked it, so I kept editing the rule until the loss got big enough to make the decision for me.
Took the -75% because I refused to take the -35%.
Should never have touched $NVDA yesterday.
Bought the 207.5 calls at 30 cents, betting it'd run to 210. Not expecting. Betting.
And here's the part I can't defend: I had no reason. Not one indication it was going to 210. No setup, no level, no signal. I just wanted it to, and I acted like wanting counts as analysis.
Lost $300 on it.
The real reason I took that trade? I was up on the day. I had profits, so it didn't feel like real money. Like the market had spotted me some chips and this one was on the house.
It wasn't on the house. It never is. It was $300 of mine that I handed back because winning made me sloppy.
Green days are when I do my dumbest trading. Nothing makes me reckless like already being up.
Somebody in my group chat posted they were up big on AMD. Green screenshot, the works.
So I bought AMD. No chart, no plan, no reason except someone else was winning and I wanted in.
I got filled at basically the price he was getting out at.
That's the thing about trading someone else's call. By the time I see the screenshot, the move already happened. I'm not early to the trade, I'm late to their exit.
Down $500 on a position I couldn't tell you a single reason for entering. It was never my idea. I just didn't want to be the one who missed it while everyone else ate.
Turns out "everyone else is making money" is the most expensive reason there is to click buy.
Down $600 on the day. So for the next trade I tripled my size. One good trade and I'm back to flat.
That's the move every time. Get down, then bet big enough to erase it all at once.
Here's what gets me though. I never size up like that when I'm calm and up money and trading well. I only do it when I'm losing and rattled and desperate to get even.
Which means I put on my biggest risk at the exact moment my judgment is at its worst.
It didn't come back to flat. It turned a $600 day into a $1,900 one.
The trade that's supposed to save the day is always the one I have the least business taking.
Lost my first trade of the day. Small one. But it put me in a mood, and I traded the rest of the day from inside that mood.
Everything after that wasn't really a trade. It was me trying to fix how I felt.
Entered too early because I was impatient. Sized too big because I wanted the loss gone now. Held too long because getting out meant admitting the morning beat me.
By noon I was down way more than that first loss ever was, and none of the extra damage had anything to do with the market.
One bad trade cost me a few bucks. My reaction to it cost me the whole day.
The setups stopped being the problem around 9:45. After that my mod was making every call - and my mood is a terrible trader.
Down $200 on a trade. Nothing. All I had to do was sell.
I didn't sell.
I sat there and told myself it'd come back. Watched it slide to $400. Then $700. Every price I refused to sell at turned into the new price I was praying to get back to.
Closed it at $1,600 in the end β not because I chose to, but because I couldn't stand looking at it anymore.
The $200 loss was one click I could've made in a second. The $1,600 loss built itself while I sat there hoping.
Selling was never the hard part. Admitting I was wrong was the hard part. So I didn't, until the market did it for me.
My rules say no trades after 11am.
I took one at 11:40.
So that evening I opened my trading plan and added a line. "Exceptions for high-conviction setups."
I didn't break the rule. I amended it. Retroactively.
To make the thing I already did legal.
Been doing this quietly for months. The plan started as one page of hard rules.
Now it's a document that agrees with whatever I already feel like doing.
I have perfect discipline. I just keep moving the rules to wherever I'm standing.
You're still thinking about that one trade from last week. The dumb one. The one where you knew.
You haven't told anyone. You're just going to carry it into this week and quietly feel bad about it, same as always.
Or you could put it down.
Drop it here [Link in Bio] - anonymous, nobody sees who, nobody's grading it. I'll never know it was you.
Say it, let it go, start the week clean.
#tradingpsychology #FinTwit
$TSLA went against me right after I got in. So obviously I bought more.
Cheaper price, better average. That's what I told myself. Real conviction stuff.
It kept going down, so I bought more again. Now the position's three times the size I actually planned and I'm underwater on all of it.
Here's the thing though. If I liked it at $242 and I liked it at $235 and I liked it at $228, what I actually liked was being right. The price was never the point.
I wasn't adding to a position. I was arguing with one.
Closed it for a $900 loss on a trade I originally risked $300 on.
Took 23 trades yesterday. My plan calls for two, maybe three.
Won 13 of them. Net after fees? Down $60.
Thirteen winners and I still finished red. Because most of those weren't trades. They were fidgeting with money.
I don't wait for setups. I wait for something to click on. Those aren't the same thing, and my P&L can tell the difference even when I can't.
The market handed me maybe two real opportunities all day.
I took twenty-three because I couldn't sit through the quiet in between.
My target was 40 points on NQ. Good setup, everything working the way it was supposed to.
Trade goes 11 points green and I bail. "Locking in profit," I told myself, like a responsible adult.
It ran the full 40 about twenty minutes later. Without me.
The stupid part is I have endless patience for losers. I'll sit through an hour of red telling myself it just needs room to breathe. Eleven points of green and I can't get out fast enough.
I cut winners because green feels fragile and red feels temporary.
Neither of those is analysis. It's just fear pointed in two directions.
The plan said a $300 stop on ES. I wrote it down. I even said it out loud.
Price came for the stop and I moved it. "Just ten more points, it's about to turn."
It didn't turn. So I moved it again. And again. Each time telling myself this was the level, this was where it bounces.
By the time I finally got out I was down $1,400 on a trade I had personally pre-approved to lose $300.
The stop wasn't the problem. I had a perfectly good stop. I just couldn't stand to be the guy who was wrong, so I kept buying more time at a worse and worse price.
A stop you'll move isn't a stop. It's a suggestion you argue with until it's expensive.
I've deleted my broker app four times this year.
Reinstalled it four times.
Every time it's the same thing. I have a bad stretch, I delete it, I feel this little wave of relief like I finally handled it. Lasts a few days. Then something starts moving and I'm typing my password back in.
The last reinstall was from the parking lot of my kid's soccer game. Futures were moving and I stood there downloading it again while he was on the field.
Deleting the app was never going to fix it. The app isn't the part that has the problem.
NVDA stopped me out, so I got mad and got right back in.
That one lost too. So I traded again to win it back. Then I sized up 3x to fix the whole thing in one shot.
Down $2,700 by 10:40am.
And here's what actually gets me: my plan for that day said "no A+ setup, sit out." Nothing to do. A perfect day required zero trades from me. Making coffee and watching would've put me even.
Instead I took a stop out personally and lit $2,700 arguing with a stock that had already told me no.
Moved my stop "just 10 more cents." Then again. Then again. Four times on the same trade.
A $150 loss I'd planned for turned into $1,100 I hadn't.
The thing is my stop was in the right place. I set it there for a reason, when I was calm and thinking clearly. Then the moment it got hit I decided the calm version of me didn't know what he was talking about.
Every time I dragged it I told myself the trade just needed a little more room. It didn't need room. It needed me to leave it alone.
The stop wasn't the problem. I was.