Hans

I’m like a canary in a cold mind

[Hans @traincamping]

he had a bed frame, a salaried job and his own apartment but as the months wore on and the usual inadequacies and disappointments compiled she swore the frame had lost some of its stature and imagined it was slowly lowering the mattress to its natural home on the floor

[Selen @writingenjoyer]

Well-behaved billionaires seldom make history

[Hans @traincamping]

float like a 4 year old laying face down in a super 8 pool, sting like a lifeless washed up Portuguese man o’ war

[Hans @traincamping]

Yeah I’m kind of the one who wear the pants in our long distance low commitment situationship

[Hans @traincamping]

@BokononsProphet @Las_Lovaas I had the same thought initially and thought they were in college kids in awe of the beautiful drinking culture on tower avenue

[Hans @traincamping]

@ssr_tourist taunting someone on Xbox live and hearing a knock at the door but it’s the health department instead of the SWAT team

[Hans @traincamping]

l like that city of Minneapolis has a website that shows if a residence has a lead water service line. My new bit is going to be screenshotting your friend’s homes and then replying with the screenshot when they say something stupid you disagree with

[Hans @traincamping]

@SwellTakes imo almost everyone that’s made a name for themselves online as a predictive shot caller correctly reads the zeitgeist once or twice and then never achieves that level again

[Hans @traincamping]

Profesor Jaing just stuck an ice cube on the table and correctly predicted that it would melt. He’s on a generational run.

[Hans @traincamping]

He’d never seen one before so he simultaneously predicted the future and disproved David Hume’s empiricism

[Hans @traincamping]

Under woke 1 in a situation where a pedestrian crash was was inventible the Waymo would veer towards the person who said the most slurs online. during the first two years of Trump 2 it would veer into anyone who attended no kings, now they’re back to hitting chuds.

[realyuriyearners @realyuriyearns]

if i was a narcissist i'd only manipulate people who deserve it because i'm a good fucking person.

[Hans @traincamping]

all the charts about how post covid social life is a fraction of what it once was is hard for me to wrap my head around as someone who had no friends and no outings until afterwards

[Hans @traincamping]

@BUNNlCULA The little volumetric flasks are my favorite

[некосаттвачік @nekosattva_chan]

i'm an analyst. what does that mean? well most people look at events and numbers and fall into a dull stupor, with drool falling out of their gaping mouths. an analyst opens up excel instead.

[crack addicted whore @moigleoigletroy]

gas station self-actualization pill

[Hans @traincamping]

Sometimes it isn’t a beautiful woman trapped in a block of ice. Sometimes it’s David Blaine

[Hans @traincamping]

@vixxtoria_ #InvestedInGodsKingdom

[Hans @traincamping]

asking the priest to bless my job application

[Hans @traincamping]

@vixxtoria_ It’s an honor to serve the lord and the shareholder alike

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

The Chinese just invented a sniper rifle that can fire a bullet 1000000000000000 yards. And it's light as a feather #ChinaNews