ever forgot ur carry on bag in ur moms car, tracked her down to her boyfriends house? The house you’ve only been to 1 time&vaguely remember&totally cockblocked your mom&their “alone time” No? Just me. k. Also, introduce your bf to your mom that’s she’s never met at the same time
I can’t stress this ENOUGH, CLEAN out the DAMN fridge when you move out of a place. Nothing is worse than going to put fresh groceries in your new place & the fridge being disgusting. MAKE SURE TO TAKE OUT ALL THE SHELVES WHEN YOU CLEAN. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
*at my re-enlistment ceremony getting discharged before being sworn in again*. re-enlisting officer: now that you’re out for a few mins, any words? Me: yeah, fuck the navy. That’s all I got