trashlady

just chillin here. mostly rants about my life tbh

[trashlady @trashlady3]

I should probably visit a psychiatrist after the quarantine ends

[trashlady @trashlady3]

It’s good to come back here. I was in a very dark place back then, but now its a little better. Still not great, but I’m,, kinda dealing with stuff?

[trashlady @trashlady3]

Sometimes my friends reminisce with or around me... and I just straight up don’t remember things they are talking about, despite experiencing them

[trashlady @trashlady3]

I wonder why ppl follow me. do you like reading about other persons troubles?

[trashlady @trashlady3]

Am i? I think I’m just writing it to be edgy, I’m too much of a coward to even ki// myself

[trashlady @trashlady3]

I want to scream at my parents and cry but that would just piss them off. they don’t care about how I feel. it like they get angry that I feel thing that aren’t happiness? like they don’t want to allow me to be angry

[trashlady @trashlady3]

it’s so irrelevant- my existence and small moment like this, when I’m sad and alone - but it feels like a defining moment of my life because I’m on the brink of fucking ki//ing myself

[trashlady @trashlady3]

I just want them to stop shouting at me

[trashlady @trashlady3]

god i hate this fucking house my mother screams at me for no reason, my father doesn’t even talk to me and I can’t even dress how I want to

[trashlady @trashlady3]

god I want to go back to my grandparents they are almost deaf and overly protective but it’s better than this shit

[trashlady @trashlady3]

@theneedledrop

[trashlady @trashlady3]

So why do I want so desperately to be perfect? I try so much a yet do so little. even those small thing are so hard. they shouldn’t be. it irritates me.
.....im really sad.

[trashlady @trashlady3]

I’m very sad today. I looked bad walking with my grandpa, saw people from my previous school and drew ugly things.

[trashlady @trashlady3]

but it’s a bad, bad mindset become those things are supposed to be pleasurable. why aren’t they? why can’t I enjoy life for what it is and strive to be perfect? I can’t be and I want. when I fail even slightly I completely give up.