Kayja Clark Buhmann

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

@Weezer @RiversCuomo My Oregon born and raised boyfriend was just talking about how @RiversCuomo is a great governor, and I couldn’t bear to correct him.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

Take note #BendOR

[Kate Bahn @LipstickEcon]

I just heard a story from a friend that her landlord is halving her rent for two months and giving her back the majority of her security deposit now to help bolster her and her roommate's incomes since they work in retail and food service. Honestly. This is how you fucking do it.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

@GrantTanaka @DingoCobber @sarahdelri0 @Groupon 👏🏻exactly.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

@DingoCobber @sarahdelri0 @GrantTanaka @Groupon As a concert promoter I can assure you that most do not have insurance that covers this circumstance. It’s going to destroy plenty of our businesses. But we’re issuing refunds because it’s the fucking decent thing to do. Groupon is gonna be fine.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

For the same reason “I never call in sick” is used as a brag, “I stayed working even though it put other people at risk” will become one. It’s not all about you. Stay home.

[Seth Rogen @Sethrogen]

Hi! If you own or manage a business and you have the ability to let your employees work from home, tell them they should. Don’t give them the option because then it turns in to some sort of test. Just dooooo iiiiit. Yay!

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

@Parkerlawyer All these responses- “well I had my kid naturally and I’m fine” or “women have been having kids without drugs for thousands of years” are completely missing the point. Our medical system will let women suffer in pain, or even risk their life, during childbirth.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

A barista just complimented my tattoos and said “it’s so cute when you older folks still appreciate getting ink” so if anyone needs me, I’ll be checking into a nursing home.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

I may be stuck at the DMV with 59 numbers ahead of me, but at least the people I’m sitting next to are reading bible verses out loud

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

There are only parallel parking spots available at my office today, so I guess I am working from home.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

I’d like to fill out an adoption application, please.

[KTVZ News @ktvznews]

Video: Two playful, boisterous river otter pups just took up residence at the Oregon Zoo in Portland after being orphaned earlier in the month at a different locations. https://t.co/hoBxhXaZ5m

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

I feel the same way about this hashtag as I did about #MeToo : profoundly moved by all the testimonials made by my fellow women, but saddened that we have to share our deepest traumas and personal choices with the world to be seen as a human. I don’t owe you my story. #YouKnowMe

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

I just pulled a muscle trying to make my butt look better in a selfie, so I think I’m basically a fitness model now.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

@929kris I think you’re wonderful. Not a scam.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

Lady at store: you doing ok?
Me: honestly I’m just worried that my crippling anxiety and underlying belief that I don’t deserve happiness causes me to self-sabotage everything I love.
Lady: ...
Me: .....
Lady: I just meant did you want to try on those pants you’re holding....

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

All the school bells just rang and I heard a collective sigh of relief from parents so big it changed the barometric pressure.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

Ok yes I know it sucks to buy tons of school supplies but let’s just all admit that teachers don’t make shit and anytime after August 15 we’re willing to give up a kidney to have them take our kids 8 hours a day so that extra pack of markers really isn’t worth bitching about.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

My kids wanted to watch Netflix and I wanted them to do their chores and help me move the new couch into the living room, so we compromised and they watched Netflix while yelling at me that I was being too loud doing their chores and in the way of the TV.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

@jamieloftusHELP @Fauxedo Winnie the Pooh is a girl- showing us that even chubby, dorky girls can wear a crop top.

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

Hi welcome to your late 30’s you can get a debilitating neck injury from laying on a pool floatie

[Kayja Clark Buhmann @trending_never]

@bcsalmon Guys named Brett ALWAYS treat you like shit.