TrevorWrites

The BYU grad, RSL fanatic, Qualtrics veteran, proud husband/dad, fiction writer

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

I promise to only tweet stuff worth reading starting......now.

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

Watching Inside Out for the ten thousandth time with my kids, I believe in 20 years Disney owes us a short where Riley does make it to the moon and Joy helps Riley remember Bing Bong

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

I need injection-ready, prescription-grade melatonin for my five year old please

[Real Salt Lake @realsaltlake]

CHICHO ARANGO IS NOT HUMAN

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

April 1st joke:

Anyone remember a time when April 1 was the only day you couldn't trust the news?

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

Life may be like a box of cereal.

The last third is pretty disappointing and you spend most of it thinking about how great the first few bowls were.

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

To anyone out there cheating on their partner, today seems like it's probably a pretty challenging day so best of luck. Also hope you get caught you cheating bastards.

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

My 4-year-old is in awe that Google calendar grays out events from previous days as a visual cue. She is going to be blown away by vlookups.

[San Francisco 49ers @49ers]

2023 NFC CHAMPIONS

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

@realsaltlake @krayohhey let's do it!

[Real Salt Lake @realsaltlake]

We’re giving away free RSL jerseys to a few lucky winners in celebration of our home playoff game Monday 🤩

Here’s how you win:
🔺 like this tweet
🔺 retweet
🔺 reply and tag your RSL bestie

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

@krayohhey Neither do I

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

@Xbox TREVORWRITES

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

You know McDonald's has its stuff together when it comes to branding and special promotions when they were able to convince @krayohhey to go there on a Friday unprompted by me. Happy birthday Grimace.

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

The most lasting impact Disneyland has had on my 4-year-old daughter is that she insists we raise our hands high in the air whenever we are driving down a hill

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

I ought to tweet about conference, but instead I'm asking how the *expletive* does a kid fall asleep for 3 minutes in the car right before home, tiredly agree to let you carry them to bed and sing songs, then suddenly find the energy to resist and fight going to bed for 4 hours

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

The real reason I got a baby was because I wanted a space heater I could set directly on my chest and that also doubled as a napkin

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

@krayohhey Should I be thrilled both of my kids got my detached earlobes?

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

Watching a ghost hunter show while getting my windshield repaired. 5 minutes of talking about the deceased. 5 minutes of "the method". And 20 minutes of people standing quiet-like while a producer hides somewhere making random noises and hitting things to drive the plot forward

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

Sunday sweatpants are nature's napkins

[TrevorWrites @trevy113]

Occasionally my 3-year-old girl yells "hungry!" expecting us to drop everything and feed her.

Each time, I think "you can't just say the word 'hungry' and expect anything to happen." And I secretly hope she reads my mind and replies, "I didn't say it, I declared it."