T-Rex Liz Drex

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

am I counting to ten during hide and seek OR am I holding my head in my hands while I silently cry on the park bench 😏

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

you should get bonus points in block blast if you have insomnia

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

trying to imagine donald trump ever holding a baby and can’t

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

fine if u want to debate something that’s none of ur business I guess but don’t interrupt ur opponent by employing the noise I make when my dog is about to sneak food off the counter 🥲

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

surprised not the department of owies

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

wdym he doesn’t know if their eyes are green or blue lmao

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

Wtf was Elton John on about when he goes

If I was a sculptor… heh. But then again, no.

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

reframing racism as common sense is wild lmao

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

REPORTER: I'm trying to figure out how you can come to the conclusion right now that diversity had something to do with this crash

TRUMP: Because I have common sense, ok? And unfortunately a lot of people don't

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

I think if I ever gently and codependently held onto someone’s index finger I would hate for the entire internet to make fun of me 🤪

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

avoiding eye contact with the tsa agent after my quart sized bag filled with nothing but nik-l-nips sets off an alarm in the xray

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

“im going to cheat”
*i win*
“hey u cheated”
“how dare u 😏”

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

people who perfectly fill in the ballot oval’s votes should count for more

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

hate myself for telling the story twice about how I ate all the raspberries at work

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

want to pay money to take an uncomfortable nap next to a stranger? well then I can’t wait to tell you about airpl

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

spoiler alert I guess

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

things that scientists should hurry up and learn more about: 1. the ocean 2. the brain

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

the tiny mites on my eyelashes’ love language is quality time

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

choose pete davidson as vp

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

just whispered in my dog’s ear

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

write a poem about inventing a vaccine for sunburns

[T-Rex Liz Drex @trexlizdrex]

just found out it counts if the basketball goes through the bottom of the net and then falls back through the top of the hoop