#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent

On a journey - #SeekingEase

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Darna Naheen!!

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

April was such a challenging month.
May please be good.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Best wishes with your presentation today @PoojaMarwaha_
💪🏾

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Today was tough!
But I survived.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

@PoojaMarwaha_ Hi Pooja, You have got this 💪🏾, and it is kinda normal to be anxious.

A wisdom I learnt today is turning 'worry to excitement'; of course excitement also causes anxiety.
It may help to look at it as you being excited to share the fantastic work you have been doing.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Sickly, Sickly, but who do I tell? I slip my 'I am fine' mask on and continue to function.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Suffering pain again!
This time nothing much to do... but wait it out. Except that it is impacting my productivity.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

It still hard going to sleep at night.
I don't know what I fear.
The only times the fear is reduced is when I am avoiding watching football.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

I'm so stressed that I can not sleep!

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Me soon! I hope and pray!!!

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

QUESTION: If you were running a PhD then drop out for your wellbeing, do you remove those years from CV or how do you account for the gap years?
N.B: You attended conferences and have some academic blogs during that period.
cc @ThePhDPlace @Momademia @PhDVoice @PhDinGermany

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

I have been having very tough pain in my eyes and right sides of my face for some weeks, and quite bad this week, and I only realised today that it is anxiety.
I felt the same way when my current job was confirmed; I think it is because it is a new year, and work resumes.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

How often does it happen that an apparent loss contains the seeds of success?

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

2024: I survived again.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

(Not)Random thought:That time in November 2022 when I was more worried about my PhD supervisor thinking I wasn't showing up enough than I was about informing my family that I was about to be admitted to a psychiatric ward to prevent self-harm
It was the beginning of end of my PhD

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

I am this 🤏🏾 close to muting the word PhD because of the agony it is causing me in the past few weeks.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

One of those days where I just want to be fucking left alone. Be alone and exist to anyone.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

No appetite to overeating,
Struggling and afraid to sleep,
Lack of focus and motivation.

I have been here before, but I hate this feeling now more than ever because I have obligations to fulfil.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Seven months later, this person used some of the info to take a dig at me.

Somehow, never 'trust' an old so-called feminist in a position of power. They mostly tend to reveal their patrilineal traces against their self-professed matrilineal ideology.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

Tonight I shared some of my trauma with someone; the person listened with empathy.
What I haven't probably shared with anyone, I did because I needed someone to listen to me today.
It was not precisely what caused me pain today, but I somehow shared those things I told them.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

I tweeted this and algo... brought up a tweet about lifequake.
My thoughts today have been about how I am not exactly happy but content in God.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

I'd like to stop mourning the life I thought I would have.

[#LostHuman_ex- PhDStudent @tripleara]

I'd like to stop mourning the life I thought I would have.