Trishank Bhimjiani

33, Karaoke & Music Lover, Complete Foodie, Chelsea FC fan, CA, Love reading, Mumbai, Swimming, Chocolates, Rains. #9 person. Virgo

[Trishank Bhimjiani @trishank18]

@NivaBupaSupport why is a huge and reputed hospital like Breach Candy Hospital not a part of your empanelled cashless hospitals? Request you to please add the same ASAP! @breach_candy

[Iamemperor @Iamemperor00]

My roommate accidentally convinced our entire apartment building that he was a government agent because he didn’t know how to end conversations normally.

It started because he ordered a shredder.

That’s it.

Just a regular office shredder from Amazon.

But the delivery guy asked,
“What do you need this for?”

And instead of saying “old bank statements” like a civilian, my roommate pauses for two full seconds and goes,

“Can’t really discuss that.”

Why would you say that.

Now the delivery guy looks nervous.
My roommate notices the nervousness.
And instead of correcting himself, he doubles down because apparently social anxiety turns him into a Batman villain.

He leans closer and says:
“Appreciate your discretion.”

The delivery guy left like he had just transported nuclear launch codes.

After that, weird things started happening.

Neighbors became oddly respectful.
People stopped asking him dumb small-talk questions in the elevator.
One old man saluted him once.

At first we thought it was coincidence.

Then our downstairs neighbor knocks on our door and quietly asks,
“Are we safe?”

My roommate, who is eating cereal at the time, just stares at him and says:
“For now.”

FOR NOW???

The neighbor looked like he was about to evacuate his family immediately.

Turns out the delivery guy had apparently told multiple people in the building that “federal people” were living on the third floor.

And honestly my roommate’s lifestyle was NOT helping.

He leaves the apartment at random hours.
Owns three identical black jackets.
Rarely explains where he’s going.
Has terrible posture but walks fast enough to seem important.

One time he came home carrying a locked briefcase.

Do you know what was inside?

A sandwich.

But nobody else knew that.

The paranoia escalated when building management installed new security cameras and my roommate casually muttered,
“About time.”

Now everybody thinks he requested surveillance upgrades.

Then came the incident with Apartment 4B.

There was a huge screaming argument downstairs around midnight.
Doors slamming.
People yelling.
Somebody crying.

The whole building could hear it.

My roommate walks into the hallway, listens for ten seconds, then calmly says:
“They’re moving earlier than expected.”

EARLIER THAN WHAT??

A woman across the hall literally gasped.

The next morning 4B had moved out unexpectedly because apparently they were already behind on rent and the fight ended the relationship.

But now the building believes my roommate orchestrated a covert extraction.

People started treating him like some kind of undercover protector.

Neighbors would randomly update him on “suspicious activity.”

One guy whispered:
“There’s a blue Honda that keeps circling the block.”

My roommate nodded and wrote something down.

Do you know what he wrote?

“Buy oat milk.”

But the guy saw the note-taking and immediately went,
“Knew it.”

Then management offered him a free parking spot “for operational convenience.”

HE TOOK IT.

At this point I asked him why he kept feeding the delusion instead of stopping it.

And he said something I’ll never forget:
“It’s gone too far to explain naturally.”

Which somehow made him sound EVEN MORE like a spy.

Then things became catastrophic.

A package got delivered to the wrong apartment and went missing.

Management called a building meeting about “recent security concerns.”

In the middle of the meeting, somebody actually turned toward my roommate and asked:
“What do you think we should do?”

This idiot crosses his arms and says:
“Keep communication limited. Don’t panic.”

The room nodded collectively.

I was watching a man fail upward into the CIA.

Then an actual police officer showed up later that week because somebody reported “possible federal surveillance activity.”

We thought the game was over.

But when the officer knocked on our door, my roommate opened it halfway, looked at the badge, and sighed like he was disappointed.

[Trishank Bhimjiani @trishank18]

@volklub What about new seltos or creta

[Trishank Bhimjiani @trishank18]

@UC_Assist Still not been contacted

[Trishank Bhimjiani @trishank18]

Never use @urbancompany_UC ! Their technician came and serviced the AC on 25th April, warranty expired on 5th and on 6th AC gave loud sound n conked. Another tech of theirs said whoever did the service last left some parts wet inside due to which the pcb sparked and burnt out!

[Sophia @Sophia_Sophi01]

Weirdest things about countries

[Trishank Bhimjiani @trishank18]

@UC_Assist Sent via DM

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

@narendramodi Congratulations! 🇮🇳

[Futy chels @FutyChels]

🚨🗣️ EXCLUSIVE: Didier Drogba reacts to Chelsea FC managerial shortlist

🗣️“I’ll be honest, I’m not happy with what I’m hearing.

When I see names like Marco Silva, Andoni Iraola being seriously considered, I have to question the direction.”

🗣️“This is Chelsea. We are not a mediocre team.
We are a club that has won the UEFA Champions League. The standards here are different.”

“You don’t go for managers who are still trying to prove themselves at the highest level. You go for proven winners, top coaches with a strong record in Europe.”

“🗣️Even with Xabi Alonso, yes there is potential, but this club needs certainty, not another experiment.”

“Right now, it feels like we are lowering the bar, and that is dangerous.

Chelsea should be competing with the best, not hoping things work out.

If the ambition is not clear at the top, then everything else will suffer.

And that’s my concern.”

[Bobby F. 🍁 @bobbyfairview]

Dear @ebehdad

RE: The Conflict of Perverse Incentives

I want to be fair to you. You had less than a month to structure a complex billion pound transaction, so some mistakes were always going to happen. But the mistake I’m describing isn’t an execution error. It’s a conceptual flaw baked into the deal from day one, and it has permanently poisoned your strategic position.

You built a structure with three stakeholder groups, and you only have a fiduciary duty to one of them. That was always going to end badly. Let me explain why.

A man came to you and said he had £300m and wanted to buy a business for £4.2bn. Two of his mates would chip in £300m each. You lent him the rest. To their credit, they’ve been matching cash calls ever since. But here is what you actually agreed to: you needed Boehly’s money, which meant Boehly got something in return. What he got was influence over the sporting operation. And the first thing he did with it was sack Thomas Tuchel so he could have his dressing room access.

That decision, made to protect your financial relationship with a co-investor who couldn’t actually afford the asset, is what set everything else in motion.

Roman left you a blueprint. He won trophies, built a global brand, and maintained a fair value that always exceeded his cost basis. Central to that was Cobham. Fans across England sing “he’s one of our own” for a reason. That bond between a club and its homegrown players is not sentiment. It is enterprise value. You dismantled it. You sold the graduates and killed the pipeline, not because it made sporting sense, but because your financial model required short term asset monetisation over long term brand construction.

You have now spent more on transfers than any ownership group in the history of football. Chelsea are currently 9th. Below Brentford. Below Brighton. That is the sporting output of your model, and those fans who sang “he’s one of our own” have noticed.

Here is where your conceptual flaw becomes permanent. Boehly has £100m of interest accrued and payable to Ares. You have at least £600m sitting in the Cayman Islands, accruing and payable to COP III. Across the group the interest bill is approaching £400m this year. That means you have no choice but to run this club for one purpose: to make debt service payments. Managing a football club to pay interest has never worked in the history of this game unless you’re Manchester United. Your problem is that you don’t have their revenues. So you are flipping players to fund cash flow.

There will be no properly experienced signings. No manager with real authority. No trophies. You’re caught in a sell-to-buy death spiral and fans have worked out exactly what is happening.

If you’ve made it this far in my letter, this is the part I’d encourage you to sit up and focus on. You need the fans more than they need you. Every day more of them are learning what this structure actually means for the club they love, and they are making a rational decision: do not buy the brand of an owner who is just here to pay interest.

Your perverse incentive is to balance the books, manage the asset, and extract the best possible valuation before the debt matures. Their perverse incentive is to make sure you never get there, because the only exit that actually serves their interests is Ares foreclosing and forcing a sale to someone who can run this club properly.

Think about what that means. The fans who generate the revenue you need to service your debt are now rationally incentivised to undermine that revenue.

You created a structure where your key stakeholder group is rooting for your creditor to take the club from you. That is not a communication problem or a PR problem. It is a structural conflict with no resolution inside your current ownership model.

I’m not sure what the long term prognosis is for a business in that position. But I think you already know.

Yours truly,

bf

[Anush Lakshmanan @anush100]

A cautionary tale about @urbancompany_uc and how a publicly listed company handles damage claims.

Booked their technician (Sanju Kumar) to install a Luminous inverter at my home in Bangalore. Routine job. Should've been 2 hours.

Invoice no: UCIC260004101947
Complaint no: 69f362690db9530026fe28d7

Instead of a standard install, he opened the main switchboard and worked with MAINS LIVE violating the most basic electrical safety rule. Phase-neutral cross-connection caused a ~280V surge through my home wiring.

Within minutes:
• Geyser circuit dead - Approximation given is around 12,000 to fix
• 55" Smart TV motherboard fried, panel and screen damaged - looking at full loss ( Rs 48,000)
• Apple TV completely destroyed (₹14,900 replacement)
• Home electrical wiring compromised (Assessing currently)

The moment Sanju Kumar realized he'd damaged the geyser, he packed up and LEFT mid-job. Inverter still uninstalled. No fix. No apology. No accountability.

Had to hire a different electrician the next day to fix the wiring he broke out of my own pocket.

Filed formal complaint with UC. Specifically requested a SENIOR technician for independent damage assessment.

UC's response? They sent SANJU KUMAR BACK. The same person who caused the damage. To "take photos" of his own work and walk away.

He showed up, photographed the damage he caused, left without resolution. No claims process opened. No callback.

When we asked UC for a complaint ID, it took multiple follow-ups and a manual download of a tax invoice to extract any documentation. They were not proactive in issuing one almost as if to avoid creating a paper trail.

3 sleepless nights. ₹40,000+ in documented damages. Complete radio silence from UC corporate after that.

@urbancompany_uc @abhirajbhal @raghavchandra @varunkhaitan — your company is publicly listed now. Retail and institutional shareholders are watching how customer grievances are handled.

Is THIS the customer experience model investors signed up for?

1. Technician violates basic electrical safety
2. Damages multiple appliances and home wiring
3. Walks off mid-job when he realizes his mistake
4. Same technician sent back to "investigate" his own damage
5. Customer chases for documentation that should've been auto-generated
6. Then gets ghosted

Listed companies are held to a higher standard of corporate governance, customer protection, and grievance redressal. SEBI compliance and investor disclosures aren't just about quarterly numbers they extend to how the brand treats its customers.

This isn't how a publicly listed company should operate.

Asking for:
1. Independent senior technician (not Sanju Kumar) to assess damage
2. Compensation for documented damages: ₹90,000+
3. Formal acknowledgment of complaint 69f362690db9530026fe28d7
4. Process review — no customer should have to extract their own complaint ID
5. Public clarification on UC's damage claims SOP

Have all invoices, technician's diagnosis report confirming overvoltage cause, photos, timestamps, and WhatsApp records.

please be careful. If a clearly documented case is handled this way, imagine the cases without paper trails.

Consumer forum filing prepared if there's no response in 48 hours.

[Dr Mouth Matters @GanKanchi]

Confessions and realities

42M, 55LPA

I am a 42-year-old man with a senior job in IT. I have a house in Chennai, a supportive wife, and two children. On paper, everything about my life looks perfect. I have achieved all the things society says a man should achieve.

In my twenties, life felt different. I had friends to spend time with. We would hang out at Marina Beach and Besant Nagar beach, watch movies at Rohini, Udayam, and Kasi theatres, and ride around Mount Road on my RX100.

In my thirties, I had colleagues to talk with over tea breaks. We would discuss apartments, onsite trips, and share random stories about life and work.

But now, in my forties, life has turned into a quiet routine. My phone rarely rings for anything personal. Most calls are about office work, bank alerts, or someone from home asking me to pick up milk on the way back.

The loneliness of a man in his forties is unusual. I am not physically alone, but I often feel like a machine.

When I enter my home, I am simply “Appa.” I am the person who pays school fees, fixes the Wi-Fi, and handles repairs. My wife is busy with her work and the kids. My children are teenagers now, living in their own worlds and their own rooms. They love me, but they mostly see me as the person who provides comfort and stability. They no longer see me as an individual.

At the office, I am the senior person. I am expected to have all the answers. I cannot tell my team that I feel tired. I cannot tell my boss that I sometimes struggle to keep up with new technologies. I must appear confident and strong, even when I quietly worry about the future.

Sometimes I drive home slowly from work just to spend a few extra minutes in the car. I listen to songs from my college days.
For those fifteen minutes, I am not a manager or a father. I am simply myself again.

I realize that I have not had a real conversation about my feelings with anyone in years.

My old friends now exist mostly as names on WhatsApp. We send “Happy Birthday” or “Congratulations” messages, but rarely talk. When we meet at weddings, our conversations revolve around our children’s grades or the cars we drive. We never talk about what we actually feel.

The hardest part is that I cannot even complain. If I tell my family that I feel lonely, they look confused and say, “But we are all here with you.”
They do not understand that a person can be surrounded by people and still feel like they are on a desert island.

Society teaches men that if they provide money and security, they have succeeded in life.
But no one teaches us how to deal with the silence that comes with it.

I have built a beautiful life for everyone around me, but sometimes it feels like there is no space left for me inside it.

And maybe… this is what life in your forties feels like.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue.

On April 21st, the left screen moved first.

I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug.

At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy.

On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me.

At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire.

Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83.

I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags.

My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports.

The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026:

Reviewed.

That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one.

Let me show you my flags.

March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it.

March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it.

April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it.

April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it.

April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it.

That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one.

The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March.

Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012.

Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence.

Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets.

The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade.

I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email.

The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action.

One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared.

One account is a coincidence. But there were six.

Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000.

My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger.

March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes.

The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event.

The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting."

Then the White House sent the email again.

I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread.

I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated.

But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed.

Zero prosecutions.

As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations.

I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations.

The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still.

In my field, we call this price discovery.

[Vfynn_🥷🏼 𐙚 @Vfynn_]

🚨🗣️ Thierry Henry on Chelsea’s current situation, where it all started, Tuchel, Maresca and Liam Rosenior:

“I’m sorry, but what’s happening at Chelsea FC right now is self-inflicted chaos and it starts from the boardroom, not the dugout.

You had Thomas Tuchel, a guy who literally brought you back to the top, gave you identity, gave you belief and what did you do? You removed him. Not because he failed, but because there was no patience. Since then, it’s been the same story, different names.

Then you bring in Enzo Maresca, a guy building something, a clear project, a structure… and what happens? He delivers silverware, Conference League, Club World Cup and instead of backing him when things get tough, you pull the plug again. That’s not football management, that’s panic.

And then you bring in Liam Rosenior, no disrespect to him but you’re asking someone with limited top-level experience, coming from Ligue 1 exposure, to suddenly fix structural issues that have been there for years. There’s no stability behind the scenes. You can’t build anything like that. That’s not how football works

Five consecutive league losses. No goals. First time in over a century. That’s not just ‘bad form’, that’s a reflection of confusion, lack of direction, and poor leadership from above.

People will blame the players, and yes, they’ve been poor — but when a club keeps ripping up projects every 12–18 months, what do you expect? You don’t build winners like that. You just create confusion.

And now I’m hearing talk like ‘trust the process’ again… what process? There is no process. It’s just decision after decision with no direction.

Chelsea aren’t just struggling, they’ve lost their identity. And until the people at the top take responsibility, it won’t matter who’s on the touchline… the same story will keep repeating.”

[Trishank Bhimjiani @trishank18]

@NivaBupaSupport pay now button not appearing for insurance renewal on app or website - how can one renew in this situation?

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Look at the tiny cars in the foreground to get a sense of the vastness of the building

[Trishank Bhimjiani @trishank18]

@airindia I’m flying business jfk to bom 24th March - can I carry 3 check in bags if it’s within the weight limit?

[Reece James @ReeceJames]

2006 a kid arrived at Chelsea with a dream in his heart, boots too big for his feet, but belief from the start. Fast forward to 2026, still wearing the same blue shirt with the same fire inside. This club raised me, shaped me, and gave me a place to call home. Through every game, every battle, every lesson I’ve grown. Now the journey rolls on, the dream still true. Extended till 2032… and still bleeding blue.

[Ajay Rotti @ajayrotti]

When we were buying Russian oil : That's the centre of our conflict with US

Now: We should have bought more Russian oil and created oil reserves. Govt is incompetent 😂😂😂