Tom Greenwood

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

@marcmarquez93 is in the wrong sport - only soccer players whine and bitch this much. Stop making excuses, just ride! @MotoGP #motogp #mm93

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

Hey @USPS you're the dumbest bunch of fucking morons in the entire universe. Why don't you at least TRY to do your fucking job, ever? #cunts

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

@MayorOfLA how can we train parking citations bureau to understand days of the week?? Is there a test they must fail 2b able to work there?

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

@ericgarcetti how dumb must someone be to work for LA parking bureau? Do they not understand how days of the week work? Fuck 'em all. Idiots

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

Dear USPS you suck giant fucking baboon boners!! #mailfail

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

Shook hand of guy who was in threesome with Ron Jeremy. I've basically given RJ a tuggie, then... #ronjeremy #threesome #la #cityofangels

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

All great days start with yelling at a park ranger to throw himself in the fucking wood chipper while he's at it... #angry #griffithpark #la

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

@mike_pence u really think by losing the eyepatch we won't know ur actually a Bond villain? Nice try, Largo... #mikepence #bondvillain #nope

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

Norman Reedus is like the Ringo of actors. I just... I don't get it? #meantweets @wwwbigbaldhead @JimmyKimmelLive @jimmykimmel

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

If @Apple just made us all check box "I agree to be part of Orwellian dystopia" they could use saved time 2 make itunes good again. #Idiots.

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

@nbcsnl #TinaFey ur face at #emmys was way milder look of disgust than mine trying to make it thru Sisters, shittest film of all time #urgh

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

Didn't think the 50 Shades people could make anything look LESS sexy than last one. I was wrong. #antiboner #50ShadesDarker #50shadesofshit

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

New blog is up!! https://t.co/fnouEpMaPG #blog #bond #jamesbond #danielcraig #007

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

If u zoom/crop in real tight on a photo 2 make it look like u were close 2 something it actually looks like u were FURTHER AWAY!! #instajail

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

At this point, Nick Nolte is basically a subwoofer. #nicknolte #whathappenedtohisvoice #growling

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

https://t.co/C1BAIMtlnI #blog is up and running... #triumphoverdisaster #tonki #tokyo #tonkatsu #travel #food

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

@LynnCinnamon it also has about 12 typos in the first 50 pages unfortunately... 😕

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

@BN_care why are you charging MORE for vinyls on 'vinyl day' than yesterday or tomorrow?! What a joke!! #bn #vinylday #sucks #records #vinyl

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

The term #firstworldproblems actually is the ultimate first world problem.

[Tom Greenwood @triumphdisastr]

Wish we could leave our children a world where #bono just hadn't existed. Surely it's easier to erase evidence now than explain later? @U2