BREAKING: Republican billionaire Elon Musk pathetically tells Tesla staff to ignore "stock market craziness" after the company's value tanked by 70% over the past year amidst his Twitter right-wing idiocy. RT IF YOU WOULD NEVER TRUST ELON MUSK!
BREAKING: The head of CNN announces that they “will not let”Trump “consume the news cycle” by covering “everything he does” even if he “raises ratings” — it should be said Trump won in 2016 in large part due to the constant free news coverage. RT IF YOU SUPPORT CNN’S DECISION!
BREAKING NEWS: In a brutal new poll, the British people declare that Donald Trump, is “the worst thing to ever come out of America,” edging out “the Kardashians” and “its obsession with guns.” RT TO THANK THE BRITISH FOR CALLING IT LIKE IT IS!
BREAKING NEWS: Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell announces that he will resign if he doesn’t become Senate Majority Leader after November’s midterm election. RT IF YOU WOULD LOVE TO SEE MITCH MCCONNELL RESIGN!
BREAKING: The British Medical Association announces that Americans who cannot get abortions due to the overturn of Roe should be offered free services in the United Kingdom — something Republicans would be helpless to stop. RT TO THANK THE BRITISH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION!
BREAKING: Jan. 6th committee drops the HUGE bombshell that they have emails from Justice Clarence Thomas' wife Ginni to Trump attorney John Eastman — proving that her efforts to overturn the election were far more extensive than previously known. RT TO DEMAND THAT THOMAS RESIGN!
BREAKING NEWS: In a humiliating loss for Trump and his Big Lie, a federal judge orders MyPillow’s Mike Lindell to pay Smartmatic's legal fees and outright DISMISSES Lindell’s countersuit, ruling that Lindell’s Big Lie suit is “frivolous” and “groundless.” RT TO THANK THE JUDGE!
BREAKING NEWS: Biden White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki announces that she will leave her position in the Biden administration for a new commentator role at MSNBC. RT IF YOU WILL MISS JEN!