Game theory advice:
Whenever you plan something grand, do not start planning from the beginning (t=0). Start at the end, at the final state you wish to reach. From there, you will now go backwards. Constantly ask yourself, "What do I need to do to get there?" and break the large goal down into smaller steps. This method is called backward induction, and it works particularly well when you lack direction. You will be able to work toward your goals with unmatched clarity.
The Joker once said:
"When we understand that each day isn't one more day, but one less, we start giving more value to what truly matters and that hit hard"
Miyamoto Musashi was right when he said do not count your defeats before the war is over. One victory can make them all forgotten. You are not behind. You are one breakthrough away from erasing every loss.