Doggone Trump

45th Alpha of the United Animal States, Supreme Ruler of the Animal Kingdom, and God of Twitter.

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

@realDonaldTrump Loser! Ha ha ha!!!

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

Someone should photoshop Betsy DeVos wearing a Devo hat, a kid bent over her lap and a "Whip 'em real good!" caption. Just sayin'.@FreedaT4z

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I'm going to beef up the military bigly. Steaks for every service dog! And it's only going to cost 54 billion bones.@chunkhandler @FreedaT4z

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I freely admit there are a bunch of leaks around here. We're freaking dogs! What the hell did you expect?! @chunkhandler @FreedaT4z @god

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I won't be attending the annual AKC dinner. I don't eat with "fake breeds" that call me a bad dog. @wilw @chunkhandler @alternatfacts

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

The violence in Sweden cannot stand. This lunatic in a white hat must be stopped. https://t.co/EZPPENTkwZ
#alternativefacts @AlternatFacts

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I'm tolerant of everyone. Except Chihuahuas, Afghans, Aussies, cats, camels, hamsters, birds, and reptiles. Otherwise I'm good. @FreedaT4z

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I'm gonna bring back that cool Star Wars thing Reagan had, except I'm gonna rename it Star Trek. I like Star Trek bigly. @wilw @SirPatStew

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

Look at what happened to the moon last night. A yuge space monster took a big bite out of it! @FreedaT4z @RogueNASA #alternativefacts

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

Don't worry Iraq; we're not going to take your chew toys. @chelseahandler @chunkhandler @FreedaT4z

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

@FreedaT4z @chunkhandler Every cat I've met is shady as f*ck!

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

Uranium is bad shit, mkay?! Not nearly as bad as cat piss though! @chunkhandler @chelseahandler @FreedaT4z

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I love being called 45. Reminds me of my drinking days at obedience school. Me and my pack bros partied like Spuds! @FreedaT4z @god

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

Quote from the presser today. Did a little ranting and raving of my own. @chunkhandler @chelseahandler @SNLUpdate

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I'm not chasing my tail. I'm just telling you. You bad dogs. I'm not chasing my tail. I love this. I'm having fun. I'm not chasing my tail.

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

The press lies so much it leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I fetch the paper. Also, I am Santa Claus and Elvis is alive!#alternativefacts

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

From now on I will preface the response to any question with "This answer brought to you by my YUGE electoral victory over crooked Hillary".

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

The real scandal is I don't have a freaking clue what I'm doing. Don't really care as long as everyone is submissive. @FreedaT4z

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

I miss Muttlania today. I'm sure she misses her Trumpy wumpy too. ☹️ @AlternatFacts #alternativefacts

[Doggone Trump @trumpthedog]

The only thing I know about leaks is it's about time for me to take one. @chunkhandler @chelseahandler @god @AlternatFacts