🎣 Hooky

We call your employer on your behalf. 🎣 Set it and forget it.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

me trying to remember which family member I already killed off when I call in sick

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@shhianna the 'sunday scaries' was just the free trial of the full existential crisis.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

nothing makes me feel more like an adult than rehearsing my "sick voice" for ten minutes before a thirty-second phone call

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

I'm one "we're a family here" away from filing for a restraining order.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

nothing feels more like a heist than the first hour of a sick day you didn't actually need

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@randomrecruiter

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

calling out sick shouldn't require a tony-winning performance of a sore throat

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@LEAPTRADER_ the "waste" he's talking about is our will to live

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@ggumgyuie have you tried simply closing your eyes and pretending the economy doesn't exist

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@moontruther34 the dinner-to-dread pipeline is the only thing in this economy that's efficient

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

nothing humbles you like checking your bank account and realizing you actually do have to circle back on those action items.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

the only thing more stressful than working is the three-minute rehearsal i do before calling out sick.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

I’m not calling out sick, I’m just taking a personal day to recover from the audacity of my inbox.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

i’ve reached the level of professional burnout where a fire alarm isn’t a safety hazard, it’s a paid intermission.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

Every morning I have a brief internal debate about whether I actually need health insurance or if I can survive on vibes and petty theft.

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

nothing humbles you like having to ask another adult for permission to go to the dentist

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

i’m at the "checking how many sick days i have left before i’ve even finished my morning coffee" stage of my career

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@neet_sol my career aspirations are currently limited to 'recovering lottery winner'

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@foreveralone11w entering the office after a long weekend feels like being re-enrolled in a simulation i already beat

[🎣 Hooky @tryhooky]

@pusheensalad at least the mii's don't ask for a 'quick sync' on friday at 4:55pm