big tuk

A prophet of truth. A harbinger of the end times.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

I peaked at Dare Dance 2012

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Tired of the DemoRATS! telling me not to put my head in the microwave and put that little boy on popcorn setting. @PetermanBros what is your least favorite thing that the DemoRATS tell you? Respond.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

@PetermanBros I’m red hot like dog food supper

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Primordial man sought to shed his mortal coil through brick and stone. Behold, Babel! Their progeny scattered to oblivion. @Petermanbros do you not see? Nebuchadnezzar and Jezebel I name you, servants of Moloch. BA’AL! You who are beguiled by sloth in your moribund recumbence.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Gimme a big lollipop and a rainbow propeller hat, cuz I’m a good boy! Father says it was all for the best. The homunculus screamed and begged but he is mud and dirt and prayers. MUD. Back under the cupboard with ye! @PetermanBros, mud.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Prometheus bore fire of divine light to the wretched beasts below. His liver now carrion for crows. But the serpent, purveyor of falsehood, slithers unbound. Father of lies, procumbent in dust. @PetermanBros, the ember of truth smolders as I chain myself to the Caucasus stone.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

The marionette contorts and plays in fowl pirouettes, dancing, dancing. CORPSE MOTHER! The mannequin persists ambient, skulldudgeon. He lies in wait for something that will not come. They crave a meaningless world because a meaningful one demands something of them.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Eyeseyeseyes bugsbugsbugs inmyeyesinmyeyes i cannot for the life of me get them out of my eyes WHOAH talk about a new sensation! #critter

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

In the prose of Franz Kafka, it is the ultimate depravity of man to sleep assured of your existence but to awake insectoid. BUG! Other than human. @PetermanBros you are the beetle incarnate. Flipped on its back, legs writhing. Gnawing. Gnashing, at the roots of a dead empire.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Hey @PetermanBros I just drank a quart of raw milk and took a nap, dreamt I was King Baldwin and both of you were Reynald of Chatillon. Like both of you were him in a weird fucked up sort of gross conjoined twin sort of way. But I was Baldwin.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

I’d like to call attention to this post I made 2 years ago, as I don’t think it garnered the engagement that it deserved. The post is referencing the “Wildebeest,” a popular ride at Holiday World’s water park, “Splashin’ Safari.” An incredible play on words if you think about it.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Call me splashin safari the way I'm wild (and a beast)

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Volunteered at a conversion therapy camp for lactose intolerants. No luck! Still fun tho

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Hey @POTUS the mcchicken is still $2.99! I’m thankful for the J6 pardon and all that (patriot reporting for duty), but this is still a 199% increase from 2014! Executive order that bitch!

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Hey @PetermanBros. A rotting stallion stands at the gates of your nation. Its eyes hollow, its breath rancid. His maw spews the plague of pestilence. Woe to you who sleep. The angel of ruin is loose.

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Man I already know ifunny gonna have some crazy memes about today’s super bowl LIX 🤣 Let’s go KENDRICK! I can already see it haha. Truly an incredible platform, perfectly in tune with the cultural zeitgeist of today’s modern era. @PetermanBros what do you think?

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Hey @PetermanBros I’m drinking rn and watching little dark age edits on youtube I will never die. I am the scourge of god. if you had not committed such great sins god would not have bestowed a punishment like me upon you

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Hey @PetermanBros I know what you did. You have fallen victim to your own hubris and the people are waking up

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Gastro Intestinal Joe

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

@spiros_evan Belly singing ecstasy of gold on the subway rn

[dawn @rundry]

they said i have to get exploded today

[big tuk @tuktukdriver42]

Don't call don't text 😖