Kelly Tully

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Contemplating existential questions like ‘how do you fold a fitted sheet?’ And ‘why does one sock always get lost in the laundry?’ And ‘how can I get my dog to come when I call him?’

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

I stink kinda good, like tacos

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Sat in a car with two 4 year olds arguing about what colors they throw up. #worthwhileconversations

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

@pathullmusic All of them?

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

@pathullmusic plug in the dread, not it 👃👈

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

I pick my boogers shamelessly while driving. #picknpull

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Spent the day walking around plucking people's chin hairs. They all thanked me in sign language.

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

I live in a hairless world. My eyebrow's are bald, my dad's back is bald, all the dogs in the world- bald.

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Attn: All the sand from Lake Almanor is being sent to Mexico to be cleaned. Will be back by Wednesday

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Went hill skiing the other day with a bunch of peeps. Skis were so sharp, shaved off bits of the land as I went. Realized as I got to the bottom of the hill it was someone's face & I had shaved off their eyebrows. My peeps were upset cuz of my poor #LNT practice... Oopz.

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

I had this cancerous mole on my neck. It started growing, every day. It got so big it grew into this mole creature and slid off my skin. It started following me around and whispering everyone's thoughts to me. My cancerous mind-reading mole's name is Tib.

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Never underestimate the power of a bucket hat

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

"Manliness is not seasonal"

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Charles Bukowski is brilliant, an ass, but brilliant.

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Voicemail are the best from friends, especially when they start out "ayo rat" but can be the worst if its from ur mom & only says "call me"😳

[Kelly Tully @tullytales]

Honest confession: I like to tinder when I'm drunk, except I pretend I'm Jojo Smyth. It never gets old.