🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱

@TURBOCUNT but relaxed. Baking, cats, and #BookTalk about my memoir project

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

#BookTalk

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

🥰🥰🥰

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Me: Christmas cookie time! I'm going to make florentines and biscotti and -
My hands: lol. lmfao

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

I'm two more Alvin & the chipmunks christmas songs away from going apeshit and whapping everybody in this place with my packer

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Me, to maskless customer: hey there! Do you need a mask?
Customer: [glares, pulls bandana out from under beard] you know they dont really work with beards, right?
Me: [shave your fucking beard then i guess???]

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

@MondayNyquil YES

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Cust: I'm looking for [thing] and also [other thing]
Me: great! Here's [thing], it's a little different but-
Cust: no.
Me: ....alright well here's [other thing], it-
Cust: no. That's priced $1200 and it's a piece of shit!
Me: ......alright

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Pellet stove: sick, cheap af fuel, warm, cozy
Trying to acquire fuel for pellet stove when we don't own a car: terrible, nightmarish, 0/10

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Yall I did not expect retirement to affect my sense of self so much. I feel like I'm a completely different person now than I was when I was working even though it's only been a couple of months. Not really in a bad way, it's just that the change in my day-to-day life is INSANE

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Really starting to believe those theories I've skimmed about gut health affecting serotonin levels. I haven't shit for a week and I am Mega Depressed™️

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Didn't know why, didn't know when, but I was pretty sure it was gonna happen. And I don't feel bad about not taking risks with his life or the lives of my other loved ones 🥳

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

It's been long enough now that I think I can safely say that nobody got covid at my wedding 🎉 took a bit of drama to keep unvaccinated relatives away but worth it to have a safe celebration!!!!

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Sucks I had to basically sever ties with my brother over this but honestly I was pretty sure I'd have to eventually

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Also oh god

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

New coworker: gosh I'm hung over, I went to a party last night
Me: ........
Them, later: I'm 18 I'm a senior in high school
Me: oh. I understand now

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

@MinervaMori It's one of my favorites!!! So simple and so goooooood

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Carbonara! It's bacon and eggs, but pasta.

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

Jesus christ google yes I KNOW I turn 30 next week thank you for REMINDING ME

[🐱shodan🐱shitposts🐱 @turbocant]

I'm 9 days away from turning 30 which means it's time to have a Life Crisis. Today's edition: Did I completely fuck myself over by focusing on cosplay + adult content for so long instead of trying to start a career right out of school? DID I?! HAVE I FAILED AT CAPITALIST SOCIETY