Jordan Thompson

zoong

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

New year new meef

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

People need to stop saying chocolate milk is good, and start saying it’s great.

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

You gotta really love Christmas to still be singing at carols after the 5th song

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Thinking about pulling an all-dayer today

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Australian: *says some bad news

Other Australian responding to the bad news: “Well that’s not good news”

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Coughing in public these days is the equivalent of saying “I have a bomb” in an airport.

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Isn’t it amazing how you can totally love a new song in the morning and then by the end of the day you think it’s “meh” because you listened to it 5 times.

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

I like how it’s manners to let someone out your front door, like just in case they forgot how a door works

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Has anyone ever gotten up early and then didn’t tell everyone they knew about it?

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Some other conversation starters if you have forgotten how to talk to people:

1. Ok Google, louder

2. *Netflix starting up sound

3. I legit don’t even know what DAY IT IS HAHAHA

4. Zoom more like Zune

5. Bees are still dying at an alarming rate

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Some conversation starters for those who have forgotten how to talk to people since Covid-19:

1. How is corona?

2. Problem about Arsenal is they’re always trynna walk it in

3. Sorry I forgot soccer wasn’t on

4. Sorry I forgot soccer fans call it football

5. How’s corona??

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Just saw a blue and red spider today, today’s the day I start web-slinging 🤘🏻

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

@J_Ellis175 not good

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Yesterday, the general pants store employees asked “how ya goin” 6 times in the span of 5 minutes.

By the 5th time, I honestly nearly changed my answer to not good.

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

nah

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Imagine going to uni for 4 years and majoring in marketing just to come up with “suck yeah!”

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

Are at home printers actually meant to work ?

[Jordan Thompson @turkey930]

This Bill Clinton swag album thing is honestly out of control