turkey leg jon

[turkey leg jon @turkeylegjon]

Any guy born in Oakhurst after 1993 can’t leave... all they know is Pine’s bar, charge they juul, work on they car, dm high school girl, eat chaw and lie

[turkey leg jon @turkeylegjon]

Venmo friends are the most reckless of all

[turkey leg jon @turkeylegjon]

Blacked out at the rainforest cafe

[Shaun Johnson @ShyBucketGetter]

I’m probably the only guy who’s into hot babes, fireworks, hamburgers and hotdogs, and the American flag

[matt @mattybtweets69]

Male pattern baldness would be cooler if you lost your hair in a real pattern like checkerboard or houndstooth

[turkey leg jon @turkeylegjon]

When he swims through your veins like a fish in the sea >>>>>>

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Lifeguard Going To Let Drowning Kid Who Received 3 Verbal Warnings Flail Around For A Bit Before Diving In https://t.co/AZttX4w8N8

[turkey leg jon @turkeylegjon]

So drunk I crumpled instead of folded-:( feeling down

[Kyle Kushblasta @SkinnyTuna]

sometimes i creep around on the floor like a bug. sometimes i get arrested

[turkey leg jon @turkeylegjon]

Flo rida is a better philosopher than Kant

[jackson @squashedlikebug]

there should be a Spray that makes bugs feel Amazing

[turkey leg jon @turkeylegjon]

Thinking abt the couple I saw at the Buffalo Wild Wings and knowing I will never share that kind of intimacy

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

It’s almost like no one cares that I’m really sleepy

[Kyle Kushblasta @SkinnyTuna]

sorry what was that? i wasnt listening…i was picturing a really big sword in my mind

[Harrison Weinreb @harriweinreb]

I skipped a few grades in school. Did not know how to do them

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

i really like how you vibrate and your inability to sit still

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

bro i’m sorry for writing our names together with my glittery gel pens bro please talk to me it was a joke