Zac F. Ron

And then there’s me, sitting in the corner, eating the biggest fucking sandwich you have ever seen.

[SignalCreep @sucking89]

“goodbye cruel world” i say as i press the button that makes everyone nice

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

pov you are alive on earth

[Librarianshipwreck @libshipwreck]

“by all means drive off that cliff” is a pretty solid response to people who tell you that you’re going to be “left behind” if you don’t embrace AI.

[Darth Erogenous @darth_erogenous]

kanye: Thing is, I’m Wallace, I’m running shit .. But I gotta be Gromit too

Zane lowe: yeah

Kanye: i’m That pioneer. fashion, music, all of it. I’m building this shit in my basement

Zane: right. like Wallace

kanye: { too loud} But they don’t know I’m Gromit though

[playful peter @w0rldmap]

Just heard a strange podcast where the host was singing and playing guitar the whole time? and it was only 3 minutes long

[Willy🦅 @iluv_papi]

My neighbor Mike always tells me too much 😂

[blue @bluewmist]

One of my favourite things I've ever read is about a woman who said that whenever she had a negative thought about herself, she would shout "GUARDS!" and imagine old knights entering and carrying the thought away.

[William O’Brien @No5mallf3at]

Genuinely I think this is a great painting. It’s so fucking weird.

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

[police sketch artist interrupts me] large naturals?

[Zac F. Ron @turtlemanboy69]

What am I supposed to do, knowing the person I already had a crush on for their insane mind is also one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen?

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

and that’s me

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

my boyfriend’s vibe has been so weird ever since he started doing meth

[🌽🌽 Erica, The White Trash Socialist 🌽🌽™️ @herosnvrdie69]

I have to tell grown men at work to put on safety glasses 87 times a day

[Sam Rudykoff @SamRudykoff]

I can’t even remember what the world is supposed to be like

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

“wait a second… Heat rises” (it hits me) “heat rises!”

Bank teller on floor: what?

“Heat rises!”

(I rush at the armed robber and he shoots me in the face killing me instantly. It’s unclear what my plan was)

[Grace @gracecamille_]

In May of 2014 a woman confessed to me that she was the sole witness to a murder committed by a high ranking music exec. She showed me muddy clothes from assisting in the burial of the body. One month later, “All About That Bass” hit the radio waves. I recognized her instantly

[TheRealThelmaJohnson @TheRealThelmaJ1]

RFK Jr has:

- Cut off a raccoon dick
- Eaten a dog
- Chainsawed off a whale head and strapped it to his minivan
- Put a dead bear cub in his station wagon and dropped it in Central Park

This is what we know about. Imagine what we don't know.

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

i have to figure out what “weed” is by the end of the day

[jane doe ☣︎ @f8lfang]

ur swag is fake i can tell theres no suffering behind it

[𝔙𝔞𝔪𝔭 @bIoodFr4ak]

“it’s a privilege to feel things so deeply” i say through gritted teeth

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

im trying to be mature and not harass my ex anymore but im like soooo bored