🍒

alphuhhhh

[popsee @qopsee99]

Up to straight bullshit today. Stay tuned

[! @Kashe1dz]

I put Ronaldo fans in the same bracket as flat earthers

[27. @dimvji]

things y'all don’t know:

1. me like that

[dev @freeallpenguins]

i rewatched life of pi after a decade and you're telling me this mf ATE HIS MOTHER AND MADE UP THE TIGER BS TO COPE????

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Dudes will ask where the bitches at but never look within

[tiramisudestroyer @blueslimeeat3r]

gng pat my head and tell me its ok and my future will be ok and ill be ok gng im scared gng pls

[َ @Kq8ZnWm3x2]

being pretty in a workplace filled with average looking ppl will get u crucified

[hera @shiningdaisies]

let me regulate my nervous system and i'll get back to you

[hani @crucifynisis]

do i weird you out or have i weirded you in

[miia @miiagarro]

ass too fat to care really

[Shō @lucxzxe]

"fuck it we ball" I say as I almost vomit from anxiety

[໊ @soysabil]

and for the lady, perhaps a love so pure?

[Liz @lzreads]

Stop using ChatGPT. Consult a local grandma…text your friend gc w/ a weird name…type ur problems into Reddit dot com…go to the library…pay a psychic…the ancient sources of wisdom…

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

Cold calling me on Teams is a hate crime.

[The Touchline | 𝐓 @TouchlineX]

💣🚨 𝗡𝗘𝗪: Real Madrid president Florentino Perez has just finished one of the most UNFORGETTABLE press conferences in football history.

•⁠ ⁠He’s ‘sorry that he won’t resign,’ instead calling for an election 3 years early and threatening other candidates to run against him ‘if they can'

•⁠ ⁠The first questions are sporting-related, but immediately he says that he will not be talking about sporting matters

•⁠ ⁠Insists that Real Madrid is not a dictatorship, that he has been the best president of all time, winning 74 titles, and that the only way they will get him out is if ‘they shoot him’

•⁠ ⁠Claims that Real Madrid players ‘fight every season,’ and that it’s totally normal. At least 4 or 5 players hit each other per year. Defends both Tchouameni and Valverde as ‘good kids’

•⁠ ⁠Picks out his phone from his pocket to start reading news and laughing at fake news from multiple outlets, mainly ABC

•⁠ ⁠Singles out an ABC journalist as ‘a woman who doesn’t even know if she knows about football’

•⁠ ⁠Saying he’s a supernatural animal, a beast that works day and night, denying rumors of cancer and tiredness

•⁠ ⁠Attacks Barcelona for the Negreira case, saying it’s the most disgraceful scandal in football history, and that they have prepared a document to send to UEFA to report Barcelona

•⁠ ⁠Confirms Real Madrid have the most valuable squad in the world according to Transfermarkt

•⁠ ⁠Starts arguing with journalists in front of him during the press conference, threatening to cancel his subscriptions to the media

•⁠ ⁠Calls himself a construction mogul, claiming his companies generate billions of euros in revenue worldwide

•⁠ ⁠Claims he called the presser to defend Real Madrid from the robberies, saying he would have at least 7 more league titles if they ‘weren’t robbed from him’

•⁠ ⁠Urged the fans and members of the club to support the players, not boo them

•⁠ ⁠Says good night, and leaves the room saying he hopes to never see the journalists again

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

I'm really starting to feel like we're living in a psychological experiment designed to study how far a dystopian society can be pushed before the working class begins reacting violently.

[🍒 @tvippyx]

good morning to everyone except real madrid fans😭😂😭😂

[blondie @pensiveblondie]

goodnight to my husband only

[govt.exe is corrupt @govt_corrupt]

The only pandemic we’re facing is how retarded everyone is.