😺💖🍹

[😺💖🍹 @tweetashorty]

"But Dude...what does mine say?"

[Freddy🇩🇪 @FreddyLA7]

The holy land

[Neal Parikh @npparikh]

Anthony Bourdain wrote about this. This was his pitch for Parts Unknown. Trust me, read the whole thing.

[EMG Max Ketchum @MaxKetchum_]

My mayor is Muslim, my pizza is Italian, I’d kill myself before cheating on Megan Thee Stallion

[E! Insider @einsider]

Taylor Swift had the right idea 👀

[sexpert @sahib14384912]

the knicks catching up got me thinking about CATCHING UP with you. you were always there in the KNICK of time, even when i did you FOUL. this might be in the SPUR of the moment but i know LOVE can force a GAME 7. tell ur mom i miss us

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

What time is the fake assassination attempt tonight?

[Andy Cortez (didn't pay for the blue check) @TheAndyCortez]

Ohhh look at me I'm New York City. I have an awesome basketball team with likeable players and a mayor that cares about making life better for every citizen man fuck you

[𝑺𝒕✩𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍 | CELEBRITY ASTROLOGER @yungkalez]

kenzie reminds me of her in the most endearing way possible #loveislandusa

[Ash Stabbath @ashstabbath]

Happy Pride to this interview Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O did back in ye olden days of 2010

[Meech @MediumSizeMeech]

I will never call someone a “situationship” Stevie Wonder invented the term “part-time lover” for a reason

[D 🍒 loves Hacks @fanchifan263181]

I just saw this edit and when I tell my my jaw was on the floor

@sabinehati via TikTok

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

there are 40 grams of protein in listening to women

[Fav ⛧ @Favwontmiss]

i fear the hottest relationship dynamic is when a woman acts like a chaotic creature and the man finds it deeply amusing instead of spiritually exhausting

[Variety @Variety]

A new study found films were more likely to star a man named Chris or a talking animal than a woman over 60.

https://t.co/nv85IiDa0d

[😺💖🍹 @tweetashorty]

@realDonaldTrump You’re such a flaming homo and giant loser.

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

Trump has just announced he will not attend Don Jr's wedding this weekend, due to "circumstances pertaining to Government."

Trump's official schedule shows he will be spending the weekend at his golf resort in New Jersey.

[Vaelor💥 @vaelor0]

Question for people who believe that life begins at conception: would you sell liquor to this baby

[David Benedict 🏳️‍🌈🕎 @eggsbened]

There are days when I miss being an editor and I particularly loved writing headlines. Whoever did this, I hope they took the rest of the day off.

[David Perell @david_perell]

Tom Segura has been doing stand-up comedy for ~25 years. He's known for his Netflix specials and a TV show called Bad Thoughts.

His stand-up sets are based in stories and simple observations around the world. The guy can look at something you've seen a thousand times but never managed to find the humor in. At one point during the interview I was laughing so hard that I could barely ask the next question.

I asked Tom how he finds jokes, develops stories for the stage, what he's learned from Chris Rock, and how to turn ordinary observations into comedy.

Timestamps:

0:37 How to find jokes
2:03 Why are comedians always annoyed?
7:19 Say the obvious
11:06 What makes a joke land?
13:11 The 250 rep rule
15:07 Chris Rock
19:33 The 4 types of comedians
21:44 Use the audience's discomfort
24:39 The key to good stage presence
32:00 Mall cops and TSA agents
36:50 How to develop a joke
38:56 Stand-up vs. TV writing
49:11 Finding your way into the story
54:08 Punchlines
55:16 What a set list looks like
58:15 Word choice
59:31 Accents
1:03:50 How to start a show
1:08:01 Writing a book

Some things he taught me about being funny:

1) The best mindset to bring on stage is silliness.

2) You must have strong opinions. Indifference kills comedy. You can say "this is the best coffee I've ever had" and make it funny. You can say "this is the worst coffee" and make it funny. But "it's fine, I don't care" is never funny.

3) You can tell the difference between a world-class comic and an amateur one by their relationship with silence. Amateur comics get jittery if a few seconds pass without laughter, whereas seasoned comics use it to their advantage.

4) Good word choice matters more than you'd think. "Yanked" is a funnier word than "pulled." Yiddish words are funny. An easy way to pick up on this is to listen to how naturally funny people describe things.

5) How to find jokes? Talk all the time. Talk and talk, and develop the skill of recognizing when something you've said has legs.

I've shared the full episode with Tom Segura below. If you'd rather watch on YouTube, or listen on Apple / Spotify, check out the reply tweets.

@tomsegura

[Fati™️ @hktrashbagz]

yk kendall jenner is really a lesbian because she only dates hot guys, real straight bitches always go for fuglies