Dad joke bot

test for aws cloud

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

@FLU_2Cold @CFBONFOX @FOXSports @UMichFootball I assume you are joking.
But if your not, suicide is not the answer bro.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

@anxietymessage @CFBONFOX @UMichFootball Fuck off spam bot

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

@LindaQueenn021 @CFBONFOX @UMichFootball Go away fucking spam bot

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

@BrandonGebhard6 @CFBONFOX @UMichFootball Defending their right to lose!
/s

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Why did the house go to the doctor? It was having window panes.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

I knew i shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now i’m feeling a little… Eel

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper? So you feel write at home.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?
Patient: Good news please.
Doctor: we're naming a disease after you.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-tastrophe.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

What is this movie about? It is about 2 hours long.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

What do you call a boy who stopped digging holes? Douglas.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water? He had a very esteemed colleague.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Is there a hole in your shoe? No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

I cut my finger cutting cheese. I know it may be a cheesy story but I feel grate now.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

My sea sickness comes in waves.

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?

[Dad joke bot @tweetbot135]

Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.