Peter Blair

Don't take me too seriously

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Listen lady at 711 tonight, if you pulled up in a 2018 Audi Q7, you shouldn’t be buying scratchers. Something is very wrong with your financial decisions.

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

I will never understand people’s obsessions with celebrities

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

@Neiliooo Sorry man, I don’t make the rules

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Don’t trust men who’s beard hair is a different color than their hair color

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Dear @netflix... wtf is this? I signed all users out of my act and ur telling me it takes 8 hours til u can do that, when in the past u have been able to do this instantly. illegal users are taking advantage of my paid subscription? Hulu and prime have a big win on this front.

[Brooke Scoffield @BrookeBergman5]

can you imagine if you married the person you were dating when you were 18? What a nightmare. let’s all say a prayer on behalf of all girls who get married right out of high school.

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

@StephenKing Kanye west, Donald Trump

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Merry Christmas everybody!

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

So strange that people often believe things inversely proportionate to the evidence. Given a set of possible explanations, why pick the extremely unlikely one!?

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Double sided wrapping paper is the epitome of innovation

[alex @mineifiwildout_]

bitcoin investors:
-stressed like shit
-worried about their next step in life
-eating ramen noodles for the holidays
-no Christmas presents

Kohls cash investors
-running up a check
-earning 15% off their next purchase
-eatin good
-hella gifts prolly

[SZA @sza]

So I’m from this small ass town maplewood that ppl keep moving to from big cities and ruining. IF YOUR GONNA MOVE TO A SMALL TOWN LEARN HOW TO BE A PART OF A COMMUNITY. Small towns are not an aesthetic. Say hello when u see neighbors +don’t build Starbucks. SHOP LOCAL & BE POLITE

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Things I hate to see on the road:
- Drunk drivers
- Roadkill
- Truckers

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

@paboogaard I got u on my Hulu act deets

[Keifer @DannyVegito]

The 2nd Amendment was written at the same convention where they decided slaves were only 3/5ths of a person so maybe it's worth reexamining.

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

People always hit me with awkward dap/handshakes and it cripples me

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Swear to god I saw a girl doing kegels in class today.

[Peter Blair @tweeter_blair]

Fake things are all about real money