KMo

[KMo @tweetkmo]

@haravayin_hogh @threadreaderapp unroll

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

After years of my asking, my husband finally tied my hands & feet to the 4 corners of the bed so I could lie and wait for him for an hour, naked. I was in bliss for about 5 mins until the cat came in and sniffed between my legs before curling up for a nap. Really killed the mood.

[huntigula @huntigula]

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while u sleep

*next morning*

iPhone: I couldn’t do it bro. just didn’t feel right. vibe was off

[bennett @ImagineAGuy]

guy who only knew jesus professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our CARPENTER???

[KMo @tweetkmo]

YouGUYYZ

[KMo @tweetkmo]

@tabithacarvan I agree. I enjoyed it *so* much. I don’t read an awful lot so that review means more or less, depending on your perspective. Congratulations anyway.

[KMo @tweetkmo]

@CanberraMuse It’s only lunch at Anna’s place guys - relax.

[KMo @tweetkmo]

Surely it’s a feta-compli by now.

[Kathimerini English Edition @ekathimerini]

EU court adviser faults Denmark for misusing ‘feta’ name on cheese exports https://t.co/n5WRG31wSH

[KMo @tweetkmo]

@kymtje FYI - gaffer tape is a hard no. I mean ahem so I’m told.

[Jamie Hogarth. @jamiehogarth]

Alright Lionel, it's not a competition.

[KMo @tweetkmo]

@olivesophierose Rats are just birds of the floor.

[Tashy McTashface @TashP351]

I’ve watched this 19 times this morning.

[WholesomeMemes @WholesomeMeme]

I don't know, I laughed

[KMo @tweetkmo]

@ThatBloke_Jesus - please. I’ll be good. Very, well, much better. Seriously. I need this. We need this. Baby @jesus too. And my Twitter boyfriend @adamliaw. Make this happen. Make this dream real. @hg_nelson

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

My son put some Trix in his ant farm. Instead of eating them, the ants dug up all of the dead ants in the farm and piled them on top of the Trix. Not sure what that means but I’m not eating Trix anymore.

[Mairead Maguire @maireadmaguire_]

Isolating for Christmas and mum sent this into the family group chat

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

do what now??