Funny Tweets

Laughter makes you happy. Happiness makes you healthy. We make you laugh, therefore we make you healthy. Follow Us .

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

For every retweet i get i will donate $0.10 to Syracuse's relay for life #fightcancer

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

You flirt with every guy no wonder you get passed around like a blunt

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

😎

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

Summer is right around the corner. As a promotion, Travelocity has donated 3day vacations for us to give out when we reach 1k followers!

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

Summer is right around the corner. As a promotion, Travelocity has donated 3day vacations for us to give out when we reach 1k followers!

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

@tweets2_funny: We will be giving 2 tix to Super Bowl XLVIII when we reach 1,000 followers! #follow #retweet

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

I automatically say "Shit" when something wrong happens.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

I have a smart phone with a dumb battery.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

When I draw birds, I draw flying mustaches.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

People think Im quiet because I'm shy. But really, I've been silently judging them from afar and determining that they're all f**king idiots

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

Maybe insomnia is payback for all the naps you refused to take as a child.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

Respect old people: they graduated highschool without google or wikipedia.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

Mumbling along to a song you dont really know…but that 15 second part you do know is coming and your gonna own that shit.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but as soon as I'm busy, BAM... still nobody texts me

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

People: "I love it when my boyfriend tells me he loves me." Me: "I love it when my microwave tells me my food is ready."

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

"Fuck that" is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no".

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

Asking a question you already know just to see if the person will lie.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you've been doing since you were 15

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

My life: Wake up, survive, sleep.

[Funny Tweets @tweets2_funny]

Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.