Fetus Tweets

I'm a tiny human with a smartphone and a lot of time on my hands.

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

#ICouldUseALittleMore music rn. Classical is good, some #JackJohnson, jazz, I'm flexible.

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

You know that chili you just -had- to have tonight?
I changed my mind. Sending it back up.
#craving #pregnancyproblems #porcelainexpress

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

Happy #MothersDay to all the moms of zygotes, embryos, fetuses, infants, toddlers, children, tweens, teens, adults, and everyone in between.

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

26 and Pregnant #MakeATVShowMediocre

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

You know, I'm not looking forward to labor either. #tightsqueeze #contractionshurt #doIhaveto

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

Practicing my backflips. Hope you don't mind.

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

Mom. Mom. Mommmm! Mom! Mom! Hey mom! Mommmmmmm! Mommommommommom! Mom! Mom! Mom!

Just wanted to let you know I'm still in here. #loveyou

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

At my own #babyshower and nobody thought to check MY registry. Now I'll have to order my "Supreme Leader" scepter myself. #iownyou

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

@MichNGWife08 @CrazyBlkGirl Do what I do and suck your thumb, sleep, and kick stuff. #fetuslife

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

@gemaariarose @mothercareuk Does everyone get those blankets? I don't want to end up in some over-laundered rags. #cozy #signmeup

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

@CrazyBlkGirl Excuse me. They do WHAT. Now I'm never coming out.

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

@Bellefit You mean I don't get to keep it as a play fort? #disappointed

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

Wanted to sleep in on Saturday? Too bad, I wanted to do bladder yoga. Good morning!!! #gottapee #PregnancyProblems

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

#justchillin

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

#llamasontheloose so jealous. I'm stuck in here.

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

There definitely aren't any exit signs that I can see. I see a button in the middle but when I press it, nothing happens. #trapped #help

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

I'm starting to wonder how the heck I'm supposed to get out of here.

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

And you thought #heartburn was just for when you had Indian food. Cute. #sorrynotsorry

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

Everyone wants to know if I'm a boy or a girl. Mind your own business, people. #quitlookingatmyjunk

[Fetus Tweets @tweetsfetus]

The only difference between the womb and a crockpot is that I take a lot longer. Also you can eat all the contents, not just #placenta. Ew.