Lawrence T. Bird

Chillin' on the roof deck, sippin' a macchiato... God, that coffee machine adds too much sugar. #satire.

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: if they booked the entire AT&T park they could have at least gotten the Giants to play a game for us

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: How was there no free Pizza Hut at this tea time?! 🍕

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: I heard the nap rooms are going to use no name 50-thread count sheets. How am I supposed nap on fucking sandpaper? 😤

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: ugh what's with all this science? I already do science all day at work

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: Think I can expense this umbrella?

#2: Dream bigger. I expensed my Uber SUV

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: They should install flood lights outside HQ so it isn't so damned depressing outside at 5pm!
#2: UV-lamps, so I can tan on the roof.

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: If Lorde was doing a show at Benu it'd really simplify my plans tonight

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: FUCK! the Taskrabbit I hired to camp in front of the twoffice mailroom line cancelled on me!

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: when I pull to refresh my stocks app twice and $TWTR hasn't gone up I wouldn't mind someone else's shares injected into my account

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: Oh great, now I need to pay for an accountant...

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: a secret service dude is blocking my view 😤

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: wait... the market opens at 9:30am EST??!

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: Cheer up, losing 10% of 10 boats is still 9 boats.

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: So sad right now I can barely finish my sashimi.

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: Kinda upset I didn't hear about Dirty Habit in Tweetbeat.

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: he's right... the log cabins *would* make excellent massage rooms

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: what's the go/link to roll my 401k into the sushi bar?

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: if they close the office they should at least give us a stipend for lunch!

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: Really hoping that the log cabins are for a sauna + jacuzzi

[Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled]

#1: An open lunch table on a rainy day is worth at least 1 BTC.