barefoot cuntessa

24 -they/them- eldritch bitch

[india ⚡️ @toindiaforever]

“he took me to cleveland” is honestly the most bone-chilling sentence ive ever heard

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

NOT BOB MACKIE

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

diva down

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

The FDA has issued a recall of 700,000+ packages of Pillsbury bread rolls because they could possibly contain glass

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

he smized until the very end 😔

[Katya @katya_zamo]

I don’t think “cornhole” is a good name for a game. Think that needs to get renamed sorry

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

JEFFREY

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

@K8Fryman still to this day i’m like…. HOW???????? 😂

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

@1989ies stop my poop problem is killing me….. that’s my resolution every year

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

@essenceofyvie linda tripp after her plastic surgery

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

the seating at the chicago theater was designed to give you body dysmorphia. seats small enough for a stuart little type. seats that could only fit a ghastly coal-mining child from the 19th century. you couldn’t fit two moderately-sized cantaloupes in those seats.

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

i think i need further cognitive testing because i just forgot bethenny frankel’s name. i couldn’t conjure it if i tried. brb looking up stroke protocol now

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

thinking about the time i jumped in a lake with period underwear on and absorbed approximately 1/4 of lake michigan directly into my gooch. the levels of sediment and debris inside of me would put the sandy dunes of mars to shame. there could still be a seashell inside me now

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

@suzietoot thank you for your service 🫡

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

just read the word “polycules” like hercules. greek demigod of weird vibes and rough interpersonal communication skills

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

gonna start up an arcade/petting zoo called Beat a Dead Horse. pay $5 and you get to play Pac-Man with terminally ill ponies. (they won’t be very good. they are horses.)

[Simi @simikunleoni]

You have not yet met all the people who will call you by your name delicately and intentionally. You have not yet met all the people who will treat you with grace and compassion. You have not yet met all the people who will look at you like the stars are dancing in your eyes.

[barefoot cuntessa @twilightscone]

why can’t i go to the pool if i’ve had diarrhea in the past week. am i not one of gods creations? am i not allowed to swim? i am in a constant state of diarrhea. i have a lifelong Miralax prescription. discrimination at its finest

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

it’s so funny that the treatment for ocd is literally just going “irdgaf” to yourself over and over again. like that’s what erp therapy is