carissa

they/she doing my best

[carissa @twink_tink]

if you can believe that lizard people are controlling our government then you can figure out how to use they/them pronouns.

[Calli Whaley🐳 @Swishweezy]

I almost forgot to post it on here, but almost 2 weeks ago, my favorite person said, “Yes, duh,” when I asked her to marry me. Here I was thinking there’s no way I could be any happier, but I was proven wrong. New achievement unlocked: get a fiancée ✅❤️

[Calli Whaley🐳 @Swishweezy]

“I swallowed it whole. Is that what you’re supposed to do?” @twink_tink taking a Jell-O shot for the first time.

[carissa @twink_tink]

“i’m gonna throw my bra on stage at a doodlebops concert”

[carissa @twink_tink]

“what do you mean you don’t know what a hickey is?”
“i know what it is! i look like one sometimes!” -my 7-10y.o. in jazz class

[carissa @twink_tink]

is a group of ferns called an orgy? cause there’s a lot of fernication

[carissa @twink_tink]

it’s really funny listening to your parents (who were basically in a religious cult for years) talk about how they can’t understand how flat earthers can just “choose to ignore things for what they believe”

[carissa @twink_tink]

my gender is tiny lizard on a bird feeder

[D. A. Powell @Powell_DA]

What if we all took the week off and just screamed.

[carissa @twink_tink]

i’m so lucky to be her partner. i’m so lucky to be in a place (both personally and geographically) where i am able to post pictures of me and my partner, @Swishweezy. happy pride, everyone ❤️

[Calli Whaley🐳 @Swishweezy]

Happy pride from me and my favorite lesbian, @twink_tink. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[carissa @twink_tink]

@Swishweezy you’re the cutest. happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈🎉

[carissa @twink_tink]

@Swishweezy okay but MY girlfriend is so pretty

[carissa @twink_tink]

“that is one large sausage” - @theethanhuffman

[carissa @twink_tink]

“how long have i just been a pirate?!” - christina frantically searching for her missing earring

[carissa @twink_tink]

“i have enough MEAT christina” - @theethanhuffman aggressively shaking a charcuterie salami rose

[carissa @twink_tink]

“TOPAAAAaahhHHHZZzz,” originally topaz, christina’s birthstone

[carissa @twink_tink]

i just heard a very small little girl voice whispering “rats. rats. rats.” like she was trying to summon them or smth. i love being a teacher

[carissa @twink_tink]

“my teeth better be in this fucking box or i’m sueing” - my nostalgic girlfriend, @Swishweezy