Love the country spin but this is what my therapist has been saying to me. It is so easy to give into instantaneous pleasures and get hooked on chasing the next one to provide a false sense of emotional coming. I will not allow myself to entertain short term happiness.
Phoned my Aunt who is not and has not been doing well because I needed some advice from my grandmother - she’s the closest blood to her.
She left me with “Time heals all wounds, but only if you choose to use that time for healing. Else it’s mud on the tires.”
Okay but where is my awkward stage??? Growing my hair out and like did I just skip that or what like I’m grateful but I kinda wanted one so I could have that glow up ya know
The last time I left this airport I was in shambles, feeling low, not wanting to leave because it didn’t feel like I was even going to a place that felt homely. This time I am leaving still loving the same man. And I’m glad I do. Don’t want that to change.
I have hope for this city. I just unfortunately don’t think I can and want to assume the responsibility of combatting these issues alone. I’d rather just find the ones who get it and keep those people close. I’ve found love in this city, I just wish DC was with it more.
I want to believe you can find love in DC but tbh the city and people in it doesn’t allow it. Ppl so numb to being real authentic people and fall into these traps of seeking external validation, chasing acceptance, succumbing to shitty hiearchy like paradigms in friend groups.
It is a fend for yourself city. I hate saying this about the city I love living in but it is true. You really do only have yourself to count on for having a good time, being mentally stable, and maintaining your own peace. If you fuck with my peace I can’t fuck with you.
Making moves in silence is the most self fulfilling feeling. To be working on things that really make me smile and sharing them only when I’m ready. Such a good step for self-discipline and control.
Why tf my anxiety all of a sudden so bad the last month that it literally makes me puke like even when I wake up from an anxious nightmare (like this morning) like I don’t even get time to calm down b4 I’m head over the bowl