Caleb Bollenbacher

I write books, and also these tweets. || Simmons grad (MFA), Baylor grad (BA), Steve Harrington hair enthusiast

(he/him)

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

MEAN GIRLS + HEATHERS

After growing up overseas, the last thing Casey wants is to finish senior year in small town Texas. Lacking a choice, participating in a massive prank war to survive seems like a good Plan B, until things go up in smoke. Literally.

#PitMad #YA

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

See THIS is what bad management looks like. Not liking the direction or timeline of a rebuild is not bad management. Bad lotto luck and mediocre signings happen. A constant stream of unforced errors? Bad management.

[Darren Dreger @DarrenDreger]

Sources: The Edmtn Oilers are consulting with the NHLPA to see if there are objections that must be resolved before potentially hiring Mike Babcock. Amid allegations of invading players privacy, Babcock resigned in CBJ as Head Coach in 2023. Further investigation may be required.

[blue @bluewmist]

I'm finally reading Dune. This quote, which is in the first few pages, hits hard:

"Once men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them."

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

@RyanHanaWWP Ryan 😤

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

Wings didn’t trade for Hughes cuz they couldn’t get a guaranteed extension, then Minny comes “out of nowhere” after Guerin gets to talk to Hughes “about the Olympics” for weeks? Pro GMs shouldn’t be Olympic GMs.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

Also Vegas gave up a guy that turned into a 1st round pick to sign Marner as a FREE AGENT last year cuz Toronto cried about tampering. Nobody’s gonna say word 1 about Guerin having access to these USA guys for months and then they try to force trades to his team? K!

[Winged Wheel Podcast @WingedWheelPod]

🚨 LARKIN UPDATE: Per Helene St. James, Dylan Larkin's list of trade destinations he'd be willing to go to is just 3 teams: Minnesota, Vegas, and Florida.

Do you think that'll be enough for Yzerman to make a deal? ⤵️ #LGRW

[Ryan Hana @RyanHanaWWP]

Maybe I just forgot, but I don't remember Olympic gold medallists forcing trades to keep their fantasy superteam alive back in the day.

Great on Team USA for winning & all but part of the deal when your NHL team lets you go to the Olympics is you going back to your NHL team.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

@HockeytownEvan It’s not like he’s Brent Burns chasing a Cup before his clock hits zero. This is just entitled baby behavior.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

@WingedWheelPod @BradKrysko

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

K where can I get a SLEGR or CLEARY nameplate to fix my #71 jersey? What an absolute chode. Baby behavior from someone who clearly has no business wearing the C.

[Winged Wheel Podcast @WingedWheelPod]

🚨 LARKIN UPDATE: Per Helene St. James, Dylan Larkin's list of trade destinations he'd be willing to go to is just 3 teams: Minnesota, Vegas, and Florida.

Do you think that'll be enough for Yzerman to make a deal? ⤵️ #LGRW

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

Darren gets it. Real leaders are part of the solution. Larkin’s just whined and whined for someone else to present him with a solution, all while his GM is the prime example of finding a way to win and get your team over the hump. Larkin doesn’t have it, that’s not mgmt’s fault.

[Daily Faceoff @DailyFaceoff]

Darren Pang on Dylan Larkin asking out of Detroit

Daily Faceoff Live⬇️ https://t.co/ozxzThPhAB

@tyleryaremchuk | @CarterHutton4 | @Panger40

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

I’m legitimately depressed about the Red Wings. I got a Larkin jersey with the C on it before they were even selling them that way, as soon as the captaincy was announced. Now he’s screwed over my favorite franchise in all of sports. This isn’t how we do things in Detroit, man.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

One bright side to today’s news about Larkin being a total turncoat is that my boy Mo Seider is about to be the first German captain in league history. Huge win for the motherland.

[luce⁵³ ⚾️๋࣭ ⭑ @seiderstories]

"who's ready for seider captaincy"
me:

[Ryan Hana @RyanHanaWWP]

Less analytical and more emotional response to Larkin requesting a trade: soft.

I get wanting to win. I get pushing Yzerman to add. I get that you're tired of losing.

Still soft. Larkin wasn't free from blame as to why Detroit fell short the past few years.

Soft. #LGRW

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

@MattyLGRW @RyanHanaWWP Giving his all to Team USA? Sure. Olympics is one thing but basically forfeiting the second half of last year over injuries at meaningless Four Nations shows where his priorities are, and it’s not the team that gave him the C and the paycheck.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

@RyanHanaWWP Larkin’s value was never higher than when he was on an expiring contract and wings were still in full rebuild mode. He chose to sign his max term contract fully aware of the situation. He chose to leave it all on the ice for USA rather than the team he captains. It’s MOSTLY him.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

This sucks so much. I have nothing nice to say.

[Max Bultman @m_bultman]

Can confirm that Dylan Larkin has requested a trade, as @FriedgeHNIC first reported. Story to come.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

@BradKrysko Do we actually buy it tho? I feel like Friedman just consistently pulls stuff out of his butt for headlines. Don’t see after the last couple years why he’d do this NOW and become the most hated guy in his home state.

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

I don’t buy this but if our actual captain forces his way out then I will finally understand people who burn jerseys

[Elliotte Friedman @FriedgeHNIC]

https://t.co/3M9dl1OQiO

[Caleb Bollenbacher @twistedrufus]

@GulagJamun_ Midnight Suns slapped and I’m mad at all the plebs who ignored it

[number #16: limit-liz ! @thedeparted_rat]

damn that’s crazy aren’t you innocent bro why wouldn’t you want to talk about your innocence