TwitHammered

Hashtag - #thammered

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

OH: "Is a threat the same thing as a goddamn promise"

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

I got toenail extensions today. #fml

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

Well shit. Can someone come pick me up? http://twitpic.com/jkqab

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

I just did a proximity search for people to follow. I'm in the worst fucking part of town. Please don't shoot or rob me. #thammered

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

@timheidecker stop being a pussy! Drink ur pink wine and shut ur hole

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

Please come get your mother. I'm done. #thammered

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

Kanye said Michael Jackson died better than Patrick Swayze. #kanye #swayze

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

Get on a bus, drive to Wisconsin, drink local beer, eat local food, eat s'mores with drunk strangers. http://bit.ly/lPRK8 (via @bierkle)

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

I was thinking about having drunk tweet remorse until I saw the pic of my cousin dancing to Nickleback and realized nope, worth it. Totally.

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

It's dark in here. I don't know who I'm lying next to. I think I'm at her place? http://twitpic.com/hlb2m

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

Japanese people can't dance. #Greatdayforwhitey

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

She said she wanted more. I suggested less "supersizing" and more "running on treadmill". #mydicklooksbiggerwheniloseweighttoo

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

Speak English. I'm not sure if you said blow job or cheese burger. #thammered #russianchick

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

@garyvee I want to buy www.crushitbook.com but it's better to get it free!

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

I put my balls on all of your wine glasses. I hope your dinner party is a huge success you stinky bitch. #thammered

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

We were taking a piss and thought of you guys. #thammered http://twitpic.com/h9qg6

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

Holy shit that interception by Troy #Polamalu was just f*ckin filthy nasty---south american jungle whore dirty #thammered

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

What's up bitches!!!!! http://twitpic.com/h9674

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

She said it was ok to use Saran wrap as a condom. All I have to hold it on though are those bands I had from braces. I have a tiny penis

[TwitHammered @twithammered]

I rubbed one out tonight staring at Nancy Pelosi sitting behind #Obama. My health improved almost immediately. #thammered