DoodBroGuy

Here to be offensive

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

You don’t have to respect anybody that doesn’t respect you.

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Okay hear me out.... A monical... With an NVG feature. Just spit ballin here.
@elonmusk

[gaz @SilentGarrett]

i don’t know who needs to hear this... but falsely accusing people of pedophilia helps to enable actual pedophiles. so maybe stop doing that

[ALVIE. @alvieversace]

That's too much to ask and if someone says they have an outlet like that they're fucking lying

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Am I gonna eat nothing, take 4 dabs, slug a 20 oz Red Bull, and then wonder why I feel weird later on? HELL YEAH BABY THATS CUSTOM!

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

My biggest talent is making up scenarios in my head that would more than likely never happen and hyper-fixating on them to the point they feel real.

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

The military trained me to operate on 4 hours of sleep, 800 mg ibuprofen, 250 mg caffeine, and an ungodly amount of nicotine and rage.

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Y’all ever stand up too quick and your body feels like an @Android photo?

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Therapist: When do you think the last time you felt something was?
Me: I fastened my seatbelt a little too snug on my way here and got a quarter chub. Does that count?
Therapist:
Me:
Me: It’s gone don’t flatter yourself.

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Yo.....
Is it me, or did we miss shark week this year?
@SharkWeek

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

I’m not a jealous man. But if I hear my wife moan while she’s breast feeding... I’m knocking that baby clean tf out. On Jah! #nocap

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Bitches be like “I don’t usually do this on the first date.” Meanwhile their poop shoot looks like the ears of a Hot Topic worker.

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

@alvieversace Add “lol” at the end.

[Zen Craven @cravenart420]

As Above So Below is one the greatest movies ever made I swear I’ve watched it a 100 times

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

@alvieversace Wayta go shit stain 😂😂😂

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Me: why the fuck am I so stressed out. I can’t even fuckin sleep.
Also me: Oh yeah. I ain’t smoke weed in 3 days 😂😂😂

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Anyone else remember when hangovers didn’t come with anxiety.

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

Guys be like “I know a spot” then take you to Springfield Mitsubishi.

[DoodBroGuy @two_sip_scrappy]

How it feels when ur high af and caffeinated out the ass at 7 a.m.

[ALVIE. @alvieversace]

Chester Bennington's death still hits me hard. Probably will for a while

Please reach out to your friends and try to be there for them. #MentalHealthAwareness