Sam

clean slate

[Sam @twunkological]

@No_Toilets When you tweeted this I never imagined it was ongoing it’s much funnier now

[Sam @twunkological]

In my defense, I wish I had hit him harder

[Sam @twunkological]

@No_Toilets You’re in my prayers (he don’t listen)

[Sam @twunkological]

They’re debating how to wash rice rn I’m gonna lose it

[Sam @twunkological]

I love over sharing on the internet

[Sam @twunkological]

You bitches can’t shake me it’s been a wild ride

[Sam @twunkological]

This is my favorite thing to tweet

[Sam @twunkological]

Freud would have a field day with me

[Sam @twunkological]

@No_Toilets They also debated rinsing the beans I shit you not

[Sam @twunkological]

@No_Toilets I told them they should (duh) and they called it mansplaining

[Sam @twunkological]

@No_Toilets Honestly it’s even funnier cuz it was about whether or not

[Sam @twunkological]

@No_Toilets Well no I was doing a funny

[Sam @twunkological]

@No_Toilets I use water

[Sam @twunkological]

@Azulalaires This is the happy season I fear

[Sam @twunkological]

Once the sun goes down, I really do lose the will to live lately

[Sam @twunkological]

Putting the phone down and reading pastures of heaven #yourewelcome

[Sam @twunkological]

If I had a straight male following this would do numbers

[Sam @twunkological]

Women: “I don’t like when you can tell men are trying to have muscles”
Also women: “I’d consider him skinny”
The man in question:

[Sam @twunkological]

They really think this man has never walked into a gym

[Sam @twunkological]

I gave up on heterosexuality cuz they really don’t make women like they used to

[Sam @twunkological]

Actual conversation between my roommate and her friend