Catholics: Peter was given the keys to The Church by The Son of God and therefore he is The Stone
Orthodox: โThe Son of God??โ What do you mean? He was always just God!
Protestants: There are some things going on in The Church I donโt agree with!
Mormons: Some fuck-ass in Utah looked into his hat at some magic plates no one else is allowed to look at and it turns out heโs got it all figured out, and heโs right- but you canโt question him; oh and this definitely isnโt witchcraft or the work of the devil by the way.
Also this definitely isnโt just an excuse for him to fuck everybody elseโs wives and this definitely isnโt a cult.