cap’n tybo🏴‍☠️🍍

my only goal in life is to be a pirate bartender :) an unqualified dog dad

[cap’n tybo🏴‍☠️🍍 @tybo_17]

I’m just tryna own a bar where the rednecks can get loud, the hippies can relax, and the runaways can feel at home That’s all I want in life

[pinkie v @sourberryvi]

bro 😭

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

data center ? why dont you date a women

[Bilal 🎀⛷️ @weirdngkid]

slut shaming? no I’m a slut encourager. take those titties out for me bae

[The Lesbian Pervert @babyknifespice]

I must be a child left behind the way her Bush got me stupid

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Ben Franklin didn't plow through dozens and dozens of French whores so that you could abide by fireworks ordinances

[Dillon Cheverere @DCheverere]

Catch me leaving the function with ur girl in the floaters https://t.co/gWsJiOJSpV

[n8 @wkeyholder]

how do i tell women at the bar that i don’t want to fuck i just want to be their boyfriend for 2 hours, make out and go home

[Nnaemeka.dev @lastSonOfCy]

Thanking God it’s her and not Atreus .
Hated playing as that nigga 😭

[cap’n tybo🏴‍☠️🍍 @tybo_17]

I had forgotten just how good it feels to be alive. I enjoy being a bright spot for others and I started letting that overshadow myself without regard for the damage it was doing to me mental health.

[cap’n tybo🏴‍☠️🍍 @tybo_17]

I got officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few weeks ago and started taking medication for it recently. To make a quick point of how bad I was, I’m now enjoying petting my dog again

[cap’n tybo🏴‍☠️🍍 @tybo_17]

I know as the bartender that I am and have cultivated myself to be have taken more of a toll than I thought it would. But I didn’t realize just how fully bad I had gotten. Somewhere along the way I stopped being able to pretend to care.

[Perc 𒉭 @PercThaGoat]

why is this genuinely making me feel like empathetic for the twitter bird fight back buddy you can do it

[valentine @valawakened]

If you were a fish at an aquarium, I’d read your entire little information plaque and stand there way too long watching you swim around so you’d know you were my favorite.

[Staladus 🐁 @Staladus]

The atheism leaving my body the moment the Pope starts talking about how AI is an affront to God and the new Tower of Babel

[Séamus Malekafzali @Seamus_Malek]

I always wanted to experience the fall of Rome for myself

[cap’n tybo🏴‍☠️🍍 @tybo_17]

I be loving free spirited women and wondering why they keep flying away

[benji🪅 @guttedsaints]

when mrs. mixed signals decides to fw me today

[turbomander @turbomander]

Jon Taffer from Bar Rescue in a fantasy tavern: YOU HAVE A GLOWING F***ING MUSHROOM BEHIND THE BAR! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Halfling tavernkeep: *mumbles under breath*
Jon: WHAT WAS THAT?
Halfling: I said that’s Mycelis, he’s the bartender here.
Mycelis the Myconid: hi Jon

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

maybe her best friend will treat me better