100% idiot since 2004 | account focused on MEN possibly Bara style middle aged men | current focus on Fallen Aces, among other Men Games | main @EUK508S_einhorn
oh. if this wasn't clear this account is owned by a "certified psychological gooner" who enjoys joking around, writing about, drawing and headcanoning shit about fictional characters' sexualities and general sexual themes and such.
please be aware of that before you follow ty! ❤️
i'm probably gonna have to think better about things like finances from now on, considering the current world situation not everyone can afford to patron some artist or comm them something out of nowhere, which is something i have to be aware of for now at least
patreon flagged the fucking kinktober+ day 2 post for sexual violence, i am going to lose it my fucking god. why are we still here. just to suffer. fuck me dude fuck them paypros fuck them puritan groups fuck this fascistic puritanical turn of the world fuck everything bro
i've scheduled them anyway, i'm gonna drink a midday horoyoi and go a mimir for now because i don't think i'm in the right state of mind to draw considering that Patreon thingy pissed my off a lot and the allnighter probably fucked my ability to trace clean, precise lines for now
weird fucking thing that comes from you hating yourself THIS MUCH and believing you must appeal to everyone other than yourself especially ESPECIALLY those who created the stuff you like because it feels like the one bit of possible affection you might actually deserve for real
i think if i don't separate the idea of main/official artists or devs liking my work from my works from the idea that my work is actually worth anything i might start spiraling back into self hatred for not appealing to devs i can't read the minds of just for affection points
there's this weird part of me that begs to be recognised and loved and have my works validated by "big authorities" surrounding the works i love and i wish i could just get rid of it entirely because i know it's putting a leash on my creativity esp when it comes to Mike stuff
it's like, at some point fuck it fuck the online panopticon fuck the google docs fuck the youtube art cc or whatever other drama channels there are i'm gonna draw my edgy violence goreslop because i find it an interesting subject to draw puriteens be fucking DAMNED
ts i'm drawing for october is straight up some exploitation horror movie bullshit and i'm sorry if this is a bit too much but there's a part of me that wants to draw horrible things happening to people who didn't ask for it because i might have issues ok
i do want to make a full on actual stats based dating sim eventually but it's gonna take a WHILE to learn how to properly code that so as i wait i will probably make that Mike Thane eroge first next to that cult of the lamb Narilamb eroge cause baby needs exp making gaems